[Ferris Felwinter]

Her nod was enough to warrant pushing his concern for her to the side. Sure, he was exercising quite a bit of it, playing the Good Samaritan and all, but he didn't want to give her the wrong idea. Just because he might admit he had jumped to conclusions before, didn't mean he was willing to admit he was wrong, exactly. Except even thinking about it like that made him feel like a dick.

Ferris was fully aware just how much direct contact they had had. I wasn't as if he had come out any worse for wear just because of who she was. He was trying to think of a clever way to say it, without sounding forced, but she beat him to breaking the awkward tense of both of them not meaning to care too much. He snorted. Even if he could tell the humor wasn't entirely natural for Tawny, it worked. "Lucky you," he agreed. Forced or not, it was at least some admission that she was trying. Rather that than her giving him crap for not being ready to really catch her when the ladder slid free.

The man had one hand behind him, ready to gingerly push himself up with he paused as Tawny offered her hand. His grey eyes flicked up to hers and then back to her open palm. He'd been willing to lift her up, now she was returning the favor. But also rubbing it in his face exactly what it was that made him uneasy. Like it was his fault and his problem and she was daring him to be the bigger man and confront his personal problem with her or stay on the ground.

He'd never admit to being the best man out there. But he could admit when he wasn't giving someone a fair shot. Ferris reached out and took her hand firmly, using it to haul himself up. And pushing off the ground a bit, considering how much smaller than him she was. He didn't expect it to feel any different. Didn't expect he would know if anything happened. But he felt a little stupid for being so distant. Embarrassed, even.

Once on his feet, he would let go of her hand, resting both on his lower back as he got his balance. He stretched slightly, gritting his teeth at the ache from just standing upright. "Nothing some ice and a cold drink won't fix," he said. Likely more emphasis on the ice. "Anyway, I know a great trauma surgeon," he added without explaining. Darcy would likely make a fuss over how he got himself banged up out on a walk.

Ferris looked Tawny over again, partly because he was a little worried. Either of them had fallen very gracefully and he didn't want her to pretend she was fine just so he would leave her alone. There were easier ways of doing that though, namely she could just tell him off. But she hadn't. As for the bigger elephant in the room...Ferris didn't say anything. He looked up at the ladder, rubbed a hand on the back of his head and neck and reached up for it. He had to stretch, but this time, thankfully, no one had to mess around with any jumping. Unfortunately, the ladder was now stuck in place again. Rather than just heave on it with the weight of his aching body, he did his best to examine the sidetracks, finally giving it a purposeful tug a little bit to one side. It came free with another screech of metal on metal and he slid it all the way down, about two feet off the ground. He kept one hand on it, still not quite feeling okay. "Let's hope it holds weight," he said, plenty willing to test it himself, but if nothing else, he had at least proved he made a good landing pad.

[Tawny Vokes]

[nospaces]

[attr="class","post-littlecloudSTREET-o"]

[attr="class","littlecloudSTREET-post"]

THERE'S NO DEVIL ON ONE SHOULDER

and angel on the other; they're just two normal people

Ferris froze, his eye traveling between Tawny's offered hand, her face, and then back to her hand. She braced against the gaze and offered nothing at the search of it except for the stubborn (almost imperceptible) press of her lips. It was obvious that he knew (and knew that she knew) the demand of the gesture. But, to his credit, only a moment passed before he clasped his palm to hers. Tawny nodded, once, as she did her best to help haul him up. She felt the static sensation of his memories under his skin — pleading quietly to be embraced — but she blocked it out. [break][break]

In an abrupt and challenging sort of way, she was demanding that he get over it. Right here and right now. It wouldn't be quite fair of her to try and "see more" in the same motion.[break][break]

Still, she couldn't help but be a little surprised. And more than a little grudgingly apologetic. A small part of her had hoped he'd refuse. Continue their little dance around. If just for the excuse to bristle. That would be easier than trying to figure out how she should be and act without it. But Ferris was being the bigger man and, though she hadn't expected it, she had to respect it. Since their acquaintance (and... that being "in the field"... it couldn't have been the most reassuring foot to start on), he'd been not not obvious about his distrust of her and her touch. But neither had he been overly-blatant about it. Hadn't been statedly disdainful and fearful of her like she knew some Ungifted Sector employees could be. [break][break]

Maybe... maybe... she could apologize to him. But probably not tonight. Tonight, the most she could do... probably... was simply give him the benefit of the doubt. Thank him for his selfless help without any underhanded sarcasm. Acknowledge the enormity that was his taking her hand and try to breathe out her want to prickle. She'd start by not commenting on it. By letting the moment be.[break][break]

Tawny stepped back as he stretched, arcing into his pains. His commentary earned an amused and conceding (but somewhat distracted) puff through her nose. When he moved to examine the fire escape once more, she stepped back and observed him work. And as she watched his profile, she finally began wondering on his memories. Tried to reconcile what she'd seen — the little bit she was willing and able to recall at the immediate moment, at least — with the man beside her, as well as couple them with his previous wariness of her. [break][break]

The glimpses she'd seen, had they been plucked from the stream of his subconscious for a reason? Most often with her Gift, that wasn't the case. But occasionally, emotion could provide direction — could provide aim — when she first slipped into someone's mind. Could influence the pull of the figurative current; urging her from joyful memory to joyful memory when she touched someone who was soaring. Or keep her anchored in more dismal waters when someone was breaking apart. [break][break]

Those snippets of him, burning a note on a beach... white-knuckled at a bar... stood before a mirror, eyes red-rimmed and heavy... were those memories dredged up specifically because of his caution? Were they the very things he didn't want her to see? Didn't want anyone to see? [break][break]

It wasn't like she could blame him. From both her occupation and her own, less-professional relationships, she knew very well that people tended to keep pain private. Present pain and past pain. Part of it had to be rooted in a very base instinct; an animalistic need not to be seen as weak or hurt in any way. To protect one's vulnerable underbelly and to lick wounds only when alone and away from anyone else's sizing scrutiny. [break][break]

But had he licked them? Taken good care of them and let them heal? She couldn't discern from the little that she'd seen, exactly how long ago those events had been. But, if there was a thread of connection between his wariness and those scenes — if it was what he was wanting to hide — then... it might not be far-fetched to assume he hadn't worked them through entirely. [break][break]

It was a curiosity Tawny couldn't hold herself back from. While she liked to chalk it up to her occupation as a therapist, she knew... at the end of the day... she was just a quietly-nosy person who took a great, personal interest in people's hurts. In the way they handled them, how they changed them, and how they carried them throughout their lives. Sadness, grief, and trauma... tearing it all apart... examining it... and letting it be felt... the catharsis of it all was immensely interesting to her. So much so that she'd been accused, by friends and not patients, of poking and prodding at other people's pains for her own sick, hungry-eyed enjoyment. [break][break]

And she could admit, sometimes her desire to delve could be too enthusiastic. Undesired. She had been reckless before. Begging others to dig and dissect until they had to be firm and shoving when they told her to 'just fuck off'. She understood that those very things that fascinated her — that she wanted to talk about and understand — were difficult (sometimes downright horrific, even) for the other person to remember. She did... but she still couldn't stem herself.[break][break]

Those other memories... of the little girl and of the curly-haired brunette on the ice... maybe those were memories pulled to and from because of wariness as well. Were things Ferris simply didn't want messed with. People he held dear and didn't want to risk even in memory. She could understand that trepidation, too. She knew the damage she was capable of in that regard.[break][break]

As Ferris freed the ladder and it slid down (with another announcing screech), Tawny pushed her mullings aside. Shelved them, but not quite out-of-reach. [break][break]

"Hooray," she cheered quietly — somewhat deadpan with it — as she raised her hands to curl and shake fists triumphantly on the air. She shouldered in the detective's space and shooed his hand from the rung so she could grab at it instead. If it was a game of testing weight, she imagined she was the better guinea pig — her falling from a height had been something they'd proven they could survive. His falling had yet to be tested. Wasting no time and exerting little hesitance, she started the ascent, breathing as she went: "Not a moment too soon."[break][break]

She made it to the first landing and crawled on the grating. But just as she got her feet under her, the door beside her pulled open and her downstairs neighbor poked her old, frail head out — mouth pursed disdainfully. "What the hell are you doing, Tawny, being so fucking loud, do you know what time it i—"[break][break]

Attention snapping to the woman and face instantly screwing, Tawny pulled herself to a standing and cut her short with an impatient, totally-done-with-this-night groan. "Oh just go back to bed, Mag! I'm almost done and home now and I've got to piss something insane. If you heard us clanging around out here, you could have opened the damn front door for us instead of waiting until this moment to start your moaning." [break][break]

The old lady spluttered, face turning red with rage, and Tawny let her brow leap daringly before she scoffed and dropped her attention back to Ferris on the ground. In some corner of her mind, she considered the possibility that her own balcony door might be locked. That maybe she'd have to trudge back down to knock on Maggie's door to beg her back from bed and let her through her own apartment. But she wasn't about to change her tune. Not unless it happened. She'd deal with it then. [break][break]

She let her face become falsely cheery as she shrugged her shoulders with a huff. "Are you going to come up? Could check yourself out before you go? I've got... ice?"

i'd speak to you in song[break]but you can't sing (as far as i'm aware)[break]though everyone can sing (as you are well aware)

Tag: Ferris Felwinter [break]
Give me a nudge for any tweaks/changes!

[newclass=.littlecloudSTREET-post]background-image:url(https://i.imgur.com/uRNx3aF.png);background-repeat:no-repeat;width:360px;text-align:justify;padding:20px 50px 25px 50px;background-color:#f5f5f5;color:#666;line-height:1.2!important;[/newclass]
[newclass=.littlecloudSTREET-post b]color:#3C6075;[/newclass]
[newclass=.post-littlecloudSTREET-o]background-color:#444B57;width:460px;padding:15px;[/newclass]

[Ferris Felwinter]

He did his best not to think about it. But of course, he couldn't shake the feeling that something more had happened in that moment. It was probably just his own bias though, so he pushed it away. She was just helping him stand up, like any normal person. But it was more than that. The entire point was that she wasn't normal. But that he could take that in stride, accept that, and not let it be a detriment. Or that he could at least not shy away from her touch.

It was a little the thing, Tawny's soft snort. But considering Ferris was aware most people didn't get his serious tone as humor, it meant something.

Ferris quickly moved aside, still a little wary of their bubbles of personal space, but it was a much more normal distance, and he didn't flinch from having her hand so close to him. He didn't back away too far though, just in case the ladder gave them more problems.

He watched her climb up, one hand on the bottom of the ladder, focusing on the worn out fire escape rather than his worn out body. Ferris raised an eyebrow as the two argued, but he couldn't help but smile at how Tawny snapped at her. Maybe because it reassured him she didn't specifically dislike him and that was all in his head. Or maybe it wasn't, but he gained more respect for his coworker in that moment. She was right, after all.

As little as he could have predicted for where this night went, Tawny inviting him up to her place was not on the card at all. He could tell it wasn't a friendly invitation, but one that was more obligatory. Accepting coworkers didn't leave accepting coworkers outside. “Uh…how about you check it's open first. And if you still want to extend that offer, you can let me in the door.” Partly he didn't trust the ladder. Mostly, as uch as he wanted badly for some ice and to rest for a minute, he wasn't sure climbing two ladders was a good call for his current bruises.

[Tawny Vokes]

[nospaces]

[attr="class","post-littlecloudSTREET-o"]

[attr="class","littlecloudSTREET-post"]

THERE'S NO DEVIL ON ONE SHOULDER

and angel on the other; they're just two normal people

With what Tawny imagined was a bit of on-the-spot surprise, Ferris advised her to check she could get into her apartment first. And then, smartly (she supposed) — he suggested she let him in the more "normal" way than have him climb up after her. She shrugged her shoulders, let her lips pull in a quick, flippant frown, then started up to her second-floor landing. Mag — finally composed past spluttering — said something after her. But Tawny pointedly ignored it and, after a long moment, the door below her slid forcefully closed. [break][break]

Yeah, her own door better be unlocked. [break][break]

She climbed up and straightened herself before the glass. Well. Here went nothing. Sending a silent (begging) prayer to the universe, she yanked on the slider handle and felt everything in her body slack with relief when the door pulled open. The air that immediately greeted her, at least ten degrees colder than the summer night, did wonders in sluicing away her frustrations and she groaned — loudly and exaggeratedly — before she shot Ferris a wide, gleeful grin over the railing and a double thumbs-up (that transformed into a single, raised finger as she motioned for him to wait). [break][break]

She stepped into her apartment, cast a remorseful, apologetic look to the wriggling ferrets barking their bewildered, impatient chirps at her, and shut the door behind her. Then, wasting not a single moment, she sprinted to the bathroom — shedding her jacket on the floor as she went. [break][break]

It was a terrible night to wear a romper of all things, but she managed. [break][break]

Catching a glimpse of herself in the mirror on her way back out, she paused with a wince. The routine with Ferris had forced some sobriety in her but she still looked a drunken wreck — mascara smudged from crying, hair a nest of loosened curls, and cheeks ruddy. But, she didn't spare a moment to pick at or fix anything. There was absolutely no point. This was the sort of ruin only a change into comfortable pajamas, a good, private cry, and maybe a bowl of ice cream could begin to mend. It would just have to wait until morning. After a bit of sleep did its resetting. Then she'd put herself back together. [break][break]

She stepped across the apartment and into the hall — crowded with its abhorrent mess of children's toys — and then shuffled down the stairs, through the mailroom, and to the front door. She pushed it open and dashed halfway out to make a grab for her abandoned bag and shoes. Thinking at the very last moment, however, she caught herself at the edge of the steps and careened back to snatch the door before it could click closed — locking and putting her right back at Square One. [break][break]

She pulled it back open and placed herself solidly in the frame, pointing at her things left on the sidewalk. "Alright, come on — grab my shit, will you?"

i'd speak to you in song[break]but you can't sing (as far as i'm aware)[break]though everyone can sing (as you are well aware)

Tag: Ferris Felwinter [break]
Give me a nudge for any tweaks/changes!

[newclass=.littlecloudSTREET-post]background-image:url(https://i.imgur.com/uRNx3aF.png);background-repeat:no-repeat;width:360px;text-align:justify;padding:20px 50px 25px 50px;background-color:#f5f5f5;color:#666;line-height:1.2!important;[/newclass]
[newclass=.littlecloudSTREET-post b]color:#3C6075;[/newclass]
[newclass=.post-littlecloudSTREET-o]background-color:#444B57;width:460px;padding:15px;[/newclass]

[Ferris Felwinter]

Tawny's shit-eating victory grin was infectious. Ferris grinned back and returned one of the thumbs up. He nodded, not to concerned with waiting for her. He full expected Tawny would clean up and maybe change and whatever else she felt she needed to do before returning downstairs, so he figured he had a while.

He caught the woman's parting demeaning comment, but he too chose to ignore it. Something about her being inconsiderate, but with more adult words.

Ferris reached into his pocket for the light and for pack of cigarettes that wasn't there and frowned at himself. He badly needed some nicotine. Partly just to take the general edge off, but after the brief, rough physical work and this being a small moment to decompress from the justified social crucible Tawny had put him through, Ferris wanted badly for the distraction and the anxiety relief. But of course, he'd made the smart decision to leave his smokes in the truck. He pulled out the lighter and flipped it a few times and was placing it back when a voice made him look up.

"And who do you think you are, loitering in front of a perfectly respectable apartment, young man?" The woman who had nagged Tawny was now directing her ire at him. "there's no smoking within ten feet of the entrance."

Although he had in fact noted the sign, he was presently more than ten feet away, around the steps and on the side. It didn't seem to matter to the woman that he was a perfectly permit abiding citizen nor that he had nothing to smoke. He held up his empty hands in a shrug and only barely decided not to flip her off. He didn't live here and didn't care, but Tawny lived here and that would be a bit rude. Especially without anyone there to witness his antics.

Mag sniffed and then nodded firmly, as if she had been reason behind his choice not to light up. And then promptly slammed the window closed. Loudly enough that he wouldn't be surprised if she woke someone else.

Ferris picked up Tawny's shoes and her purse and set them on the steps to the entrance, leaning against the banister while he waited, staring up at the night sky and trying not to press against his tail bone. Work was going to be rough. So would being around the kids since they didn't quite have that kind of awareness. He jumped, startled by the sound of the door opening behind him. He turned to watch Tawny step outside and even he got one foot on the stairs as if he might make a dive for the door when she turned around and caught it. He let out a breath and swallowed his dry comment. Tawny didn't know him that well. "Good catch," he said instead, picking up her things and moving up the steps slowly. Even stairs hurt a bit. "I was expecting you would be a bit longer."

He handed Tawny her things at the top, putting a hand on the door to push it further open for both of them. "After you, milady," he said, as if they weren't standing at the door of an apartment building in the middle of a modern-day city. "By the way, your neighbor..." he paused and made a face while also supplying an 'O.K.' gesture. "Fantastic. Ten out of ten." Would flip off if he could ensure no consequences on his...acquaintance. It was sarcasm, but Ferris' sarcastic tone was very intentionally serious. He followed her up the old stairs and cluttered landings. Oh yes, a very 'respectable' establishment.

[Tawny Vokes]

[nospaces]

[attr="class","post-littlecloudSTREET-o"]

[attr="class","littlecloudSTREET-post"]

THERE'S NO DEVIL ON ONE SHOULDER

and angel on the other; they're just two normal people

Tawny accepted her things from his hands when Ferris neared and, at his "milady" comment at the door, didn't hesitate to pause and quirk an accusing brow at him — making clear that the utterance deserved a weighty moment of shame. But she (graciously) allowed it to be a silent moment of shame and moved on when he continued about her neighbor. She snorted as they made their way up the rundown stairs. [break][break]

"Ah, yeah... I'll get her back when she needs something from me. We have an understanding around here." She tipped her head side to side, running a mental inventory of her terrible neighbors and their shared interactions. "Courtesy breeds courtesy breeds... well, you get it." Like an eye for an eye, except a lot more petty. Maybe someone, someday, would break the cycle. But it'd require a a bigger person than her. She shrugged. "Mags isn't even the worst. She's just lonely and bored all day and night. It's how she gets her social interaction, kicking up a fuss."[break][break]

They picked their way through her floor's messy corridor, Tawny toeing about the minefield of toys, stuffed plushies, and plastic figurines with a veteran's ease. When she reached her door, she hesitated with her hand on the knob and studied her shadow on the wood for a brief, considering moment.[break][break]

"Okay, so..." she started ominously... then she blinked, decided to bite the bullet, and somehow both lowered her voice and let it leap with a cheery (intentionally forced) optimism as she whipped her face to peer up at him. "Are you familiar with ferrets? And how upsetting would it be for you, if I told you I saw some memories of yours tonight?" She didn't pause but moved swiftly on. As if mixing the second question amid other, inconsequential comments would make it less damning. It was clear she was doing it. She was sure he'd recognize it. But she was less sure that he'd find any humor in it, context being what it was. "And if you see my cat, you probably won't, but if you do, just don't engage. She warms up slow."[break][break]

With that, she pushed into her apartment and left him to work through the barrage. From the corner of her eye, she only just caught the grey tail of Myrtle slipping through the cracked door of her bedroom. Having gleaned from the conversation at the entrance that Tawny wasn't alone — and Tawny did usually give her that warning — the flighty feline had made her expected exit. At some point, she'd likely edge herself back into the hall, just enough to gauge her familiarity with (and judgment of) whoever had joined them. [break][break]

But Tawny somehow doubted Ferris would stick around long enough. [break][break]

Her apartment was small. And far from bare. But... if it weren't for the scatter of cat toys about the floor and the stubborn persistence of ferret musk (somewhat masked by incense)... it was arguably clean. It was impossible for the space to feel too tidy or uncluttered, with how thoroughly she adorned the walls and how much shit she'd managed to stuff into (and on top of) every bookshelf and "non-practical" surface. But... at least she'd removed the majority of her art supplies to the studio she now leased. No longer was every available hidey-hole brimming with clean canvases, rolls of parchment, abandoned projects, or all the other messy joys of painting. [break][break]

She moved to the center of the room and spun around, trying not to look like she was wincing as she finally looked to Ferris and tried to get a read on him. "Now... ice...?"

i'd speak to you in song[break]but you can't sing (as far as i'm aware)[break]though everyone can sing (as you are well aware)

Tag: Ferris Felwinter [break]
Give me a nudge for any tweaks/changes!

[newclass=.littlecloudSTREET-post]background-image:url(https://i.imgur.com/uRNx3aF.png);background-repeat:no-repeat;width:360px;text-align:justify;padding:20px 50px 25px 50px;background-color:#f5f5f5;color:#666;line-height:1.2!important;[/newclass]
[newclass=.littlecloudSTREET-post b]color:#3C6075;[/newclass]
[newclass=.post-littlecloudSTREET-o]background-color:#444B57;width:460px;padding:15px;[/newclass]

[Ferris Felwinter]

Ferris got the feeling Tawny didn't like his humor. Or much about him. Or probably him period. So maybe it was better if he just kept his mouth shut, since she didn't seem all that interested. They were trading favors and a minor amount of respect as human beings, that was clearly enough for her so it would have to be enough for him.

He snorted softly as Tawny explained that she would give as good as she got. She definitely had it in her, considering they had been trading frosty distance and avoidance with each other for a while now. "Yeah, I do," he said with a nod, stuffing his hands back in his pockets now that he wasn't carrying her things. He couldn't entirely blame Mags either. He didn't do so great when he was alone. But thankfully he had his family and spent more time dealing with his kids' problems than his own sometimes.

Ferris raised an eyebrow at her pause outside the door but didn't say anything. Probably she was just embarrassed about the mess or something. He didn't know if Tawny had a roommate or partner, but considering she hadn't tried to contact them by throwing rocks at the window, he was guessing this was her place. What she said before opening the door though made him pause.

He heard the bit about the ferrets. He'd never owned a ferret, didn't know much about them and was about to say as much when she caught him with the left hook in his blind spot. "A b-what?" The man stood there as she proceeded to talk about her cat and then open the door and step inside, leaving him frozen for a moment, not really sure how to react, and then he pulled a hand from his pocket to catch the door before it shut in his face and he pushed it open to step inside, letting the door close behind him.

Ferris took in the apartment quickly, noting the art supplies and books that packed the shelves, the very lived in space, the musk of the ferrets and some other sort of fragrance. He didn't see the cat herself, but he saw the evidence in the food and water bowls and the cat toys. He watched the apartment's owner twirl in the middle of the space, though the look she gave him afterward didn't match the seemingly playful attitude. She was very aware of what she had said to him.

He wasn't really sure how to feel. Knowing she had done the thing he had been worried about with her Gift this entire time and had thought, for maybe a moment, he was the asshole not wanting to get too close. It was an uncomfortable breach of trust, but considering they hadn't had any trust to breach up until maybe a few moments ago...he felt maybe he could at least get off his high horse about it and just be a "normal" amount of upset instead of blaming her for something that, maybe, she couldn't quite control. Then again, what she had done was a lot more personal. And then there was the fear that she might have...altered or removed something. Would he even know?

He folded his arms and nodded as she mentioned the ice. "I'm...an amount of upset," he said, words and expression guarded but uneasy as he looked back at her and tried not to allow himself to simply be uncomfortable because she had used her power on him. He wasn't biased against Gifted. But some Gifts, specifically like Tawny's, unnerved him a lot. It was the mental ones, the Gifts that directly let someone manipulate other people or their thoughts. Knowing she had rifled through his memories like someone shuffling a deck of cards. "What sort of memories?" He asked, narrowing his eyes, trying to determine if he should be more or less upset. There were a lot of things she (nor anyone else for that matter) needed to see.

He wasn't sure if her being a shrink made it worse, but it certainly didn't make it better.

[Tawny Vokes]

[nospaces]

[attr="class","post-littlecloudSTREET-o"]

[attr="class","littlecloudSTREET-post"]

THERE'S NO DEVIL ON ONE SHOULDER

and angel on the other; they're just two normal people

Tawny's forced grin firmed at its edges as she watched him. Ferris entered the apartment, unable to completely hide how she'd taken him by surprise as he looked around and came to a stand-still. It was like Tawny could see the reels in his mind kick back from an unexpected stutter; trying to catch up and work through the implications of what she'd admitted to. [break][break]

After glancing about, his gaze landed on hers, and Tawny felt her eyelids want to flutter under the look. It was impossible for her to predict his reaction. By her (limited) account, Ferris didn't seem a reactive type. But this — the situation she put him in — could make for an understandable exception. Anything he drummed up could be justified. She knew that. But... admittedly... she was a little unpracticed in facing it. Wasn't sure how she'd argue for herself or what she could say in her defense, should he demand it.[break][break]

She'd glimpsed a numberless amount of memories from all sorts of people her entire life. Both purposely and accidentally. From friends in school, strangers in clubs and on buses, patients in her office, lovers in her bed, and a couple hundred dozen of others in between. Most often they were scattered and chaotic spirals, like the one she'd taken tonight. Trips and stumbles she hadn't intended to make. But just as frequently — when her interest or curiosity was a little too nagging to ignore or she was simply tasked to do so — she'd been the one to touch and look. To seek and stroll at her leisure.[break][break]

But nearly none of those persons had she been able to discuss it with afterward. Not directly and openly, at least. Outside of her job with the Sector, there were only a handful of people who knew what she could do. And of those few people, an even lesser amount seemed to understand (or at least show) the need for caution that Ferris exhibited around her. [break][break]

Maybe she shouldn't have told him. He wouldn't have known otherwise. She could have kept quiet. Squirreled the memories away and tried to forget them. So why had she? Had she been hoping to invite contention? To force a decider in their strained relationship? Make them battle it out, draw lines, and come to a more stated stance on their regard of one another? She had been feeling combative all night and, yes... she was certain that... if he reacted bad, she'd react bad back.[break][break]

But she was less certain that that had been her want. Or reason. Maybe it was the nature of the memories she'd seen. Maybe she felt he had a right to know. Maybe she was just curious what would happen.[break][break]

His arms crossed and he admitted to being an unspecified (or perhaps undecided) amount of upset. And for some reason, the response took Tawny by surprise in turn. Her brow gave a small jump and, for some reason — maybe it was the drink still seeping languidly through her, maybe she was too comfortable being finally in her own home, or maybe it was simply because she'd expected something more immediately volatile — she huffed an amused breath. [break][break]

With a single nod, she dropped her gaze and turned away, kicking her abandoned jacket out of her path as she moved from the living room and into the den, around a corner and out of Ferris' sight. She crouched before her ferrets' cage and took a long moment to consider. "Do you want me to be specific?" She asked finally, not having to speak loud to be heard in the small, quiet space. She worked at the latch and the two restless animals skittered over one another to claw eagerly across the floor. "I can keep it vague if that makes you more comfortable." [break][break]

She stood, stepped back into the opening between the den and living room, and looked back to him. Unable to watch him for more than a moment, her gaze fell to where one ferret was rooting curiously beneath her jacket and the other was lopping fearlessly to his feet (either going to mount a vicious attack on his shoelaces or, if he didn't find those so intriguing tonight, take a wild interest in the man they were attached to instead). She lifted a shoulder and amended the statement. "Or, rather than 'more comfortable', how about 'less uncomfy'?"[break][break]

She didn't know just where she was pulling the flippancy from. The dismissive humor. Not when she was aware of her own uncertainty and its flutter in her chest. But somehow, the blasé disregard persisted. And she knew Ferris was largely to blame for it — it was how she'd operated around him always. Tonight especially. And it was hard to shake now. [break][break]

She stepped into her kitchen, opened a cabinet to pull down a large freezer bag, and began to fill it with ice from the fridge. "It was nothing saucy, if that's a concern." He didn't exactly strike her as the shy type but most people were discomforted by the idea. Which was understandable. It was just something she'd gotten used to long ago. Barreling into an unlocked bathroom or dressing room certainly couldn't faze her now, not after all the other doors she'd unwittingly stepped through. "And nothing alarming." She squinted as she took a dishtowel from a drawer to wrap around the bag, watching her own movements and wondering if that was true as she recalled the look of him in the bathroom mirror. His wrecked reflection and the medication clutched in his hands. How recent had that been? [break][break]

Swallowing, she returned to the den and paused before him, fingers kneading the ice pack held in front of her stomach as she met his keen, searching eyes; gauging the amount of accusation there before before she stifled a sigh and extended it out to him. "It wasn't intentional, Ferris." His name felt weird in her mouth as she said it. As if it wanted to catch in her teeth. Or maybe like using his last name, or even 'Detective', would be less reaching. "I wasn't snooping or digging. It only happened when we fell."

i'd speak to you in song[break]but you can't sing (as far as i'm aware)[break]though everyone can sing (as you are well aware)

Tag: Ferris Felwinter [break]
Give me a nudge for any tweaks/changes! This is a bit all over the place so pls forgive lol

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[Ferris Felwinter]

Her surprise was frustrating for a moment and then amusing. He wasn't sure what Tawny expected from him, but his more measured and mature and perhaps careful reply was not it. Ferris would never have called himself volatile. Certainly he let his emotions build up and would never claim to be the best example for handling them. But even when he was angry, he didn't explode. Especially not now with three kids.

He remained were he was just a few steps inside, watching Tawny. He wasn't sure at first if she was brushing him off or maybe just trying to collect herself. Clearly she had known what she was saying in bringing it up. Had determined a volley of other contexts was the safest way to do it. He couldn't blame it on her being drunk, not entirely.

“None of this makes me comfortable,” he said coolly, watching the ferrets burst free of their confinement as she opened the cage. Ferris had been going to say he only knew ‘a bit’ about them. He'd never really been close to one, but having grown up on a sheep farm with plenty of animals, he had no fear or anxiety and simply stood there as the one ran up to him. His boots seemed of particular interest, but his jeans covered the more exciting parts of his laces, so the ferret amused himself with attempting to fit up his pant leg to get to them. Ferris wasn't really sure what it wanted, but he remained where he was, watching the slender fur snake attempt to wriggle up. Definitely not comfortable, but there was plenty that could be uncomfortable.

He wasn't even thinking about anything sexual or even embarrassing. The man didn't like to show off to strangers, but he didn't have a problem being seen exposed.

She was the one who had flipped through his memories and the more vague and standoffish she was about it, the more concerned he got. He grit his teeth and turned, watching her walk to the kitchen. He looked back down at the ferret who had wormed up his pants enough he could feel the thing's breath puff against his leg, as ominous as its owners words. “Is this…normal?” He asked, concerned. He didn't want the thing crawling up his leg. The question was a strange, almost goofy juxtaposition to their real conversation.

Ferris held his tongue for a moment, though his instinct was to ask her what she thought constitute alarming. Because most of his core memories were cause for concern. Typical shrink, down playing everything. He accepted the ice wrapped in a dish towel, pressing it to his lower back and glancing toward the sofa. Sitting down might help. He sighed heavily as she expressed it wasn't on purpose. Maybe not, but it had happened anyway.

“What did you see, Tawny?” He traded her name back as he repeated the demanding question. It was much easier to lean into the accusation rather than her name. He still wasn't sure how to express his anger and confusion. Especially when he did honestly want to believe it was an accident.

[Tawny Vokes]

[nospaces]

[attr="class","post-littlecloudSTREET-o"]

[attr="class","littlecloudSTREET-post"]

THERE'S NO DEVIL ON ONE SHOULDER

and angel on the other; they're just two normal people

Ferris continued with his collected composure, even as he stated his discomfort. He accepted the ice pack she held out to him and Tawny drew back her arms to cross around her middle, thumbs sneaking their way into the curl of her fingers as she retreated a step back and watched him press it where he needed. [break][break]

Having little experience with the man, she wasn't certain if this was always how he was, or if there was anything else she should make from the calm. Because there were many different types of calm. There was easy calm. On-edge and cornered calm. Unfeeling calm. Perhaps those who knew him well could pick up the tells; could hear and see the difference between them where most wouldn't be able to. But she couldn't get a concrete read on what his calm really was. Not yet.[break][break]

When he asked whether "this was normal", then asked again after what she'd seen, Tawny pushed herself to action. Uncrossing her arms, she stepped forward again — choosing to tackle the easier of the inquiries head-on. [break][break]

She figured, from his downcast gaze, that he was referring to Lark — who'd managed to fit half his body up the detective's pant leg — but, she still quirked a brow. "The ferret?" She breathed a laugh as she crouched to grab at the weasel's too-big rump and ease him back out (careful not to rip too quickly or carelessly, knowing quite well how sharp and digging the creature's little nails could be). "Yes. Very." With Lark in one hand — his lashing doubled in zeal to show his clear displeasure at being "dissuaded" — she side-stepped in her crouch to kick a cat toy across the floor. His attention snapped to it, wriggling momentarily paused, and she released him to chase after it — or rather... to bowl into Finch... who'd heard the ball's tinkling and abandoned her jacket to do the same. [break][break]

"The 'woops, I saw your memories'?" She continued, pushing back to her feet and brushing her hands down her romper. She let her lips quirk, though the smile was notably part grimace as she scrunched her nose and huffed a breath. "It's not... uncommon. If I'm not all together, then it's kind of hard not to." As she explained, the words lost a bit of the amused flippancy she'd been so-far clinging to. Though she was careful to keep her tone light and easy, she tentatively introduced some wary sincerity; finally allowing the response to be more admitting and self-aware than a half-dismissive dance-around. "And I'm not always together, so..." she lifted a shoulder.[break][break]

She let her gaze drag to her couch across the coffeetable, considering for a moment if she should ask him if he wanted to sit. Wanted something to drink. Her gaze almost flitted to him but she blinked instead and said nothing. Offering would make the whole thing seem a little too polite. A little more formal than the night called for. It would remind her too much of her day job. Possibly him, too. He would sit if he wanted, she suspected. [break][break]

She moved across the small space, stepping over the wrestling ferrets that barreled blindly into her path, and dropped herself at the sofa's edge. "Well, okay... I haven't really had the chance to think about what I've seen," she started, nestling into the back of the couch and drawing up her legs in an intentional effort to appear casual. One hand she clutched at an ankle to pull close to herself and the other she dropped loose in her lap. "I imagine, once I have the night to... ruminate on them... actually think about them... I might have more to say about them." [break][break]

Her eyes narrowed, just a bit. She supposed that wouldn't be a comforting thought for him. That she'd remember something that was his — a part of his life, something he hadn't chosen to share with her — and form her own opinion on it. Pick it apart, examine it, and come to some conclusion of her own about it (and about him). "They were only glimpses. Quick seconds." She acknowledged, after searching for any reaction. "I know I don't have context for them. Like...reading only a couple, random lines on a couple, random pages in a giant book." She inwardly cringed, wondering if likening his experiences to pages to be thumbed through was really the reassurance she was aiming for.

i'd speak to you in song[break]but you can't sing (as far as i'm aware)[break]though everyone can sing (as you are well aware)

Tag: Ferris Felwinter [break]
Just lemme know if you want me to go ahead and add more to this! I figured her recounting the memories might get pretty lengthy, so sdkjfhsdkjfh

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[Ferris Felwinter]

Ferris didn't give her a word or expression or movement more. He was a man of intensity, but that intensity was never loud. He'd been through enough high stress situations in his past and with his family and even more recently with work that he was used to being the anchor. His wife, on the other hand, was more the 'calm in the eye of the storm' sort. Had they ever actually talked, even just in a work setting, she might know something more about him. And he might know something more about her.

But instead, he was standing in Tawny's apartment with an icepack to his lower back and ferret trying to scale the inside of his jeans while trying to interrogate the woman about what she saw. Her stepping forward to gently tug the little rodent away despite its clear dislike put him a bit off balance in his approach. Maybe he was going about this the wrong way. Okay, he knew he was going about this the wrong way, but maybe he shouldn't bother at all. Should just pretend it was fine, like they were cool. Which...well, they weren't explicitly not cool anymore. That was something.

Her admission to not being so together and in control was probably meant to be reassuring. It wasn't. But it did remind him a bit of his conversation with Bridget, about her Gift and reading minds. How much it wasn't fun for her either. How it was like breathing. Tawny might not be able to not. It made his avoidance of her and annoyance at her all the worse because of course, then he was the bad guy. Now that he knew...he didn't want to be.

And then she was going on about how she planned to think about what she saw and he winced. He should never have brought it up. He should have just ignored her words that she had sandwiched in there because she clearly felt either some weird obligation to explain how and when and why she broke his privacy agreement or some equally weird satisfaction at watching his reaction. Maybe both. Whatever it was, the less a therapist spent pouring over his memories, the better.

Ferris looked over all the shelves, packed with books and other clutter. "Just another book on the pile to be picked up or forgotten when it's convenient. Forget it." He pulled the ice pack away from the back of his shirt and set it on the counter. "I hope you find your keys. See you at the office," he grumbled, turning and walking stiffly to the door.

[Tawny Vokes]

[nospaces]

[attr="class","post-littlecloudSTREET-o"]

[attr="class","littlecloudSTREET-post"]

THERE'S NO DEVIL ON ONE SHOULDER

and angel on the other; they're just two normal people

Her inward grimacing was... apparently appropriate. Ferris showed no interest in moving any further into her apartment, even as she settled, and after digesting her words, his gaze pulled to scan slowly across her bookshelves. If he'd been a more expressive man, Tawny might have imagined a bit of contempt in the search. Or imagined him huffing derisively before he grumbled. [break][break]

When he turned to leave, speaking tersely and sounding as stiff as he looked, she rolled her head on her shoulders and her mouth parted around the start of his name. For a moment, she prepared herself to correct what she'd said. Hastily amend and defend it; make it sound less what it sounded like and more something they could still address. But instead, she clicked her teeth back together and pursed her lips. [break][break]

It wasn't her place. She wasn't in the habit of putting herself between someone and the door. Of convincing someone from leaving. She, herself, loathed a hand on her arm when she'd made up her mind and — as hypocritical as she knew she could be — she wasn't about to be the one to reach for someone set on going. Especially him. What did she care if he didn't like her? He hadn't liked her in the first place. [break][break]

She didn't care, she told herself, letting the half-truth slacken her face and lid her eyes; expression growing distant and cold in that way she'd mastered long before now.[break][break]

Pulling herself from the couch, Tawny stepped quickly around the coffeetable to scoop up Lark and Finch, knowing they'd try to make as hasty an exit as Ferris was as soon as they heard the door click open. And she couldn't trust he was comfortable enough with them, or really even cared enough, to steer them away. She certainly didn't want to have to pin them down the toy-riddled hallway at this hour. She'd probably end up a casualty.[break][break]

Standing in the middle of her living room, posture straight and chin tipped — a ferret tucked under each arm — she watched him reach and open the door. She considered returning his dismissive petulance with a bit of snark. Something a little biting and loaded of her own. That had seemed to work a little better for them than her misguided attempt at sincerity, anyway. She considered too, letting him leave with an apology at his heels. For her unintentional glimpse and then her misspeaking on it. She'd made him uncomfortable. And then perhaps stretched his patience with her and the situation thin enough to strike a nerve. That all seemed to be on her.[break][break]

But, after a moment of searching for either, Tawny simply lifted her shoulders and thinned her mouth further with a small shake of her head. The first wouldn't help anything. The second, she felt herself a little too hardened to make sound genuine. "Alright, yeah, sure... see you around the office," she chose finally, echoing his own departing words and stepping (just barely) on the word 'around'. Not enough to make it particularly pointed or affronting, but enough to suggest she imagined any future interactions of theirs to be a lot like their previous. Dodgy avoidance and lowered looks. A conscious hesitance and awareness, maybe now underscored by some actually defensible grudge. [break][break]

"Thanks for your help," she added. Because he had helped her. A lot. And, though she knew it and was grateful, something within her just.... couldn't... completely curb that tiniest undertone of 'okay, right, fuck off then' from her voice.

i'd speak to you in song[break]but you can't sing (as far as i'm aware)[break]though everyone can sing (as you are well aware)

Tag: Ferris Felwinter [break]
Give me a nudge for any changes!

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[Ferris Felwinter]

He was aware his words had been more than judgmental and harsh. But he was just completing the analogy she had started. It felt fitting, if like he was taking the low road.

The man did pause for a moment with his hand on the doorknob. Whether it was because he thought maybe he should say something else, either return her tone with something less sincere than his had been (because he had been sincere, only clearly, Tawny wasn't having it) or maybe it was because part of him realized there were small animals about and he wasn't trying to cause her more stress. But regardless, he grit his teeth, opened the door, stepped out, and closed it behind him.

Ferris stood on the landing a minute, trying to figure out how he had fucked that moment up. Probably by asking about it. Tawny had seemed both so interested in talking and so...uninterested in him. Only to turn around and close her mouth into that annoying, judgmental purse of her lips, as if she had decided she'd read the inside of the dust jacket and found him wanting. Ruminate on his memories all she wanted, what did he care?

A lot. They were co-workers. Which...even without ever really talking, had been enough for him to stop and offer to help. He'd taken a fall and traded insults without complaint. They'd made up some sort of truce. Only for her to break it and then go all cold on him again. Maybe that was his fault, for pushing. But what else was he supposed to do? Thank her for delving into the depths, call it a favor returned? If anything, she owed him!

Not that he particularly wanted to collect on that favor. He thumped his way down the stairs and back outside into the night, still feeling that bruise, knowing he would feel it for a while. Maybe that was how Tawny felt around him. So maybe shaking hands and him helping her out had made then even. He could live with that.

Honestly...the only way he would know would be to actually say 'Hi" in the office next time he saw her. After that...well...he could say he tried. Though knowing she had seen something and not knowing what continued to gnaw at him, wearing through his usual armor.

[end thread]