[Ashley Wolfe]

[nospaces]

I HAD ANOTHER DREAM

i had another life; no one saw the blood on my hands

[break]

[attr="class","kestrelflight-text"]Maddie's response to his explanation coaxed a faint pull to Ashley's lips; a soft half-smile that was as much rueful as it was pleased. A hard choice to make and something to be proud of, she'd said. Five years ago, it had felt only cowardly and foolhardy. Dangerous and damning. He'd run away and lived most of the time since then fearful of the consequences. Afraid to be seen. Unable to sleep, wracked by guilt and terror. Hounded by nightmares; images and reminders of all he'd done and what'd be done to him were he to be found out. It had all felt like a matter of time back then. An inescapable, traitor's fate. But within the past year, he'd actually started to live again. And though he was still plagued by an abundance of caution on occasion, he could at least now recognize the truth in her words. [break][break]

He was proud. Among other things, too, of course. He was still scared. Still guilty and hounded. But if his fate was truly inescapable — if they did find him one of these days — he could face the firing squad now with a tipped chin, happy at least to have had the time he'd had. [break][break]

He glanced at her, smile pulling into something more full and genuinely warm. "Thanks."[break][break]

As he expected, she showed no reluctance to answer his own question. Facing forward once more, he listened and watched the ground as she divulged the reason for giving her brother the cold shoulder. It seemed family drama, even without the Guild, was a dependable constant in most lives. Her situation reminded him vaguely of his own parents. Of his mother, trying her hardest to mediate peace, to maintain home, between her sons and her husband. It had gotten increasingly difficult the older they'd gotten. When Antonio expected more and more of his children and they continued to disappoint him. Even by the time Dino had left, Dane was absent from the "negotiation table" more often than not. [break][break]

"That's rough," Ashley offered, mouth twisting as he realized he lacked for anything more wise and enlightening to say. Even if he had something though, he knew people weren't always looking for resolutions. Or advice. They just needed to speak. To be heard. "I wish there was an answer. I suppose I can only hope things get better. Maybe... given enough time." She'd already practically forgiven her brother and it was obvious the real issue lay not between them but between Maddie and her mother. He could understand her brother's want for peace between them — for not wanting to feel he had to play both sides — but Ashley also wasn't about to preach about her swallowing her pride, turning her cheek, and mending a relationship he knew nothing about. That was a matter that his opinion, or really anyone else's, had no place in. It was between her, her mother, and all that'd transpired between them and continued to. A very personal war; one that usually required compromising more from one party than the other. "But maybe not." He shrugged. "I know forgiveness isn't easy. Nor is it fair most of the time."[break][break]

When she apologized, perhaps for being more forthcoming than most people would be comfortable with, Ashley only shook his head and shrugged as if to dismiss the formality. Kept the smile curled subtly at the corners of his lips and then lifted his brow at her next question. It was an easier one to answer. "Well, I suppose... I figured I would just walk with you until you told me not to." He chuckled, then pulled a hand from his pocket to jab a thumb behind them. "I live on the other side of town and my car's that way. But I'll probably amble around aimlessly for a while in any case. Just to cool off a bit. Clear my head and walk off the heat. Don't wanna take it home to the dogs, you know?" He let his hand fall then, after a beat, looked at her again. "But you can tell me to beat it. As much as your company and talking has helped — thank you, by the way — I'd get it if you don't want me walking you to your building."


[break]

Tag: Maddison Lancaster [break]
Another speedrun, lemme know if you need more. [break]
Or give me a nudge for any changes at all!

[newclass=.kestrelflight-text b]color:#2F4845;font-size:8pt!important;font-weight:700!important;font-family:Open Sans, sans serif!important;[/newclass][newclass=.kestrelflight-text a]font-size:8pt!important;font-family:Open Sans!important;[/newclass][googlefont=Poppins][googlefont=Open Sans]

[Maddison Lancaster]

What follows has led me to this place
Where I belong with all erased

CW: child abuse and sexual assault mentions

---

Maddie was almost certain that it was a real smile she saw grace Ashley’s face. It suited him. She hoped she had actually managed to help make him feel better, at least a little. She didn’t want to think that he’d be beating himself up and berating himself all night for stepping in to help her. That wasn’t fair to him.

No matter what happened in the past, he’d helped her tonight, and she was grateful. The least she could do was chat with him now. Really, it was nice. He was easy to talk with. It felt familiar and comfortable, like she was walking with Mason or Tomas. She could see either of them in this same position.

Maybe that’s why it was so easy for her to spew out the heart of her issues with her brother. Or maybe it had been the liquor and tension that were both now fading from her system.

”Maybe, some day…” Maddie shrugged and stared ahead for a moment. ”I know it wasn’t always easy for her, either, I guess.”

But she was the adult, and we were just kids, her kids. She thought about Mason trying to convince her to cut their mother slack, to explain that she was a victim just as much as they were when it came to their father. Maddie didn’t see it happening, though. Sure, Miranda had it rough being married to Elijah, but she chose to stay. She chose to keep herself and her kids in that situation. She just drank herself stupid and ignored them.

Miranda had ignored when Elijah locked five year old Maddie in a closet for the entire day because she cried after he screamed at her. It had been Mason who found her and let her out, after he got home from school. She ignored when he locked sixteen year old Maddie out on the fire escape in the middle of December, refusing to let her change clothes or have her phone, because he’d walked in while she was taking a risqué selfie. Mason wasn’t there to save her that time. She had to climb down to the neighbor, Tim's, and ask to crash on his couch that night, barefoot and scantily clothed. Thankfully Tim had let her stay. Not on the couch, though. Hospitality wasn’t free, nothing was ever free. She had been out of options and scared, so she hadn't said no. She didn't exactly say yes, either.

Elijah wasn’t here to hate anymore though, and hating his ghost wasn’t the same. Miranda was still here, and in Maddie’s eyes she got to hold all the blame.

Maddie’s thoughts came back to present reality when Ashley pointed back the direction they’d come from. His car was back that way, he lived across town, and here she was walking him in the wrong direction. Though, in all fairness, this is the direction he’d been walking in before she caught up to him.

”I’m glad it has helped. You definitely don’t have to feel obligated to keep walking with me or anything, but really, I don’t mind. The company is kinda nice.” She looked up with a smirk on her face.

”Besides, I mean, this is the East End. You’re the least scary person out on these streets, right? I mean, scary guys don’t go around standing up for strangers all that often.” She joked, but there was some truth behind the words. She didn’t feel threatened by him at all. And what was the worst that would happen if he saw the building she lived in? It wasn’t like he was going to her door up on the fourth floor, so she didn’t see any harm in it at all.

---

Tag: Ashley Wolfe
This is a rambly mess. I’m sorry. Let me know for any changes.

[Ashley Wolfe]

[nospaces]

I HAD ANOTHER DREAM

i had another life; no one saw the blood on my hands

[break]

[attr="class","kestrelflight-text"]With a shrug, Maddie agreed that, "maybe one day", things would get better. It was a bittersweet sentiment — something people said, usually convinced there was no real promise to it — that Ashely was familiar with and he nodded, staring ahead as she did the same. When she added that she didn't mind his continued company, the tuck at the corners of his lips returned. He supposed he was grateful. Had she not followed him out of the bar and caught up to him, it was likely his ambling through the streets would have been more frenzied, troubled pacing than the easy stroll she'd enticed. [break][break]

When she joked that he was the least scary person on the streets, Ashley's response was to laugh quietly. But he was aware of the careful way he had to keep it sounding amused rather than sarcastic. The way he had to force the chuckle to reach his eyes. "You call it standing up for a stranger. But... I don't know, to me it seemed a lot more like just." He gave a tiny shake of his head, the amused tuck to his lips threatening to thin. "Breaking a man's fingers on a dirty bar-room floor. Whether he deserved it or not. That's something scary guys do." [break][break]

But she hadn't been too alarmed, had she? She'd called out to him, even while his fists still clenched and unclenched at his sides and his breaths skipped hard from his nose. As his mind spun and screamed. She hadn't been afraid of him. And while that probably had a lot more to do with who she was as a person rather than who he was, there was some comfort to be had in the thought. [break][break]

He'd spent the last few years of his life wanting to be someone others didn't have to be afraid of. Someone no one would expect to have done the things he'd done. A man someone else could look upon without fear or wariness and only see good. See his hands as soft and gentle, not dirty and black. Find them difficult to imagine balled in fists, dripping scarlet, or curled around the grip of a gun. Watch him sleep or look around a room and never think to wonder what worried darkly behind his eyes. [break][break]

And yet, every time someone did — when a resident at the retirement home thanked him for being there, a coworker or friend trusted him with their griefs, or a date searched his gaze with a starting grin — it felt almost hollow. Unearned and deceiving. As if it never quite mattered what he made them believe or what they saw when they looked at him — he could never fool himself. As much as he wanted to play the part (Ashley Wolfe, a man incapable of harm), it sometimes felt like a new skin he'd slipped into that'd never fit just right. No matter how he tried to form himself to it, tried to stretch it across the wrongness of Dino's frame, there'd be something to point at. Some seam that threatened a rip or an unseemly knob that didn't belong, pulling something somewhere too taut. [break][break]

But he still wanted them to be right; wanted to trust that what they saw was more than he himself could believe it to be. [break][break] "Maybe one day". [break][break]

He glanced down to meet Maddie's raised smirk beside him and matched it with a lift of one brow, trying to ensure his previous comments weren't taken too seriously. "The least scary, huh." He repeated, rumbling a soft, thoughtful hum in his throat as if reconsidering her statement. "I suppose you're counting yourself in that, too? Are you scarier than me?" He joked back, wishing for a moment he had another cigarette. Perhaps he'd buy himself a pack for nights such as this. Keep it in a drawer, tucked behind loose odds and ends; forgotten about until the need for one made him think. "Ah, I reckon you're right. I bet you could take me."




[break]

Tag: Maddison Lancaster [break]
Sorry for the wait on this one. [break] Let me know if you need more to work with!

[newclass=.kestrelflight-text b]color:#2F4845;font-size:8pt!important;font-weight:700!important;font-family:Open Sans, sans serif!important;[/newclass][newclass=.kestrelflight-text a]font-size:8pt!important;font-family:Open Sans!important;[/newclass][googlefont=Poppins][googlefont=Open Sans]

[Maddison Lancaster]

What follows has led me to this place
Where I belong with all erased

---

It was clear that he was still upset, on some level, about what had happened in the bar. Her experience with Mason made her look for the small cues, the patterns in speech that could give it away. Maddie recognized that even as he laughed and joked, he still had a but to add. The way he shook his head, even as he smiled. Insisting he’d done what scary guys do.

It wasn’t that he was wrong. For all she knew, he could be a massive asshole who fought strangers all the time. But she didn’t get that feeling.

”Okay, but do scary guys feel bad about it?” She picked absently at the ends of her hair as she continued forward at a lackadaisical pace. ”Because the ones that I’ve known generally don’t. Or, at least they don’t show it.”

He asked her if she was counting herself. It hadn't been a thought that crossed her mind before he said it, but she let out a quiet chuckle when he said she was right, that she could take him. She wasn’t a stranger to being caught up in other people’s fights, but it had never been her thing. She didn’t practice, or work out like Mason and Tomas both did. Her skill set was closer to sharp elbows, a well placed knee, and just plain dumb luck.

She wasn’t afraid, though. She grew up in East End though, she’d seen scary, she’d experienced scary. She knew how to keep herself out of the worst of it, most of the time. For most of her life she had relied on flirting, looking innocent, and just generally seeming harmless. Being petite with big eyes and pouty lips gave her an advantage that she utilized when she could.

”I mean, I hadn't thought about that, but, yeah.” She smirked. ”I’ve lived within these few blocks my whole life. I’m scarier than I look.” There wasn’t really a world where she would consider herself scary, but she blustered on anyway.

”For real, though, a lot of things can be scary, a lot of people can be. And people who used to be scary can change.” Maddie thought about her brother’s transformation from the little punk he was as a teenager to the functioning member of society that he’d become. He was living proof that people changed as they grew. Thinking about who he’d grown into really drove home the point that her anger with him was misplaced. She was being unfair to Mason.

”My brother once told me that it takes a lot of work to be gentle, to be calm. Anger can be so much easier.” She let out a long breath. ”Anyway, when you aren’t sticking up for damsels in distress, what do you do? Rescue kittens from trees? Volunteer to read to kids at the library? Oh, I bet I know!” Maddie let a smirk spread across her face. ”Mow the grass for all the old ladies who live on your street?” Maddie knew that she was being ridiculous, but she hoped it would make him laugh and not be offensive instead.

---

Ashley Wolfe
I kept rewriting this post. I'm so sorry if it's a mess. Let me know for changes.

[Ashley Wolfe]

[nospaces]

I HAD ANOTHER DREAM

i had another life; no one saw the blood on my hands

[break]

[attr="class","kestrelflight-text"]Ashley could feel her eyes. And though he'd made efforts to make his comments on his earlier behavior light and airy, she still volleyed back comfort; commenting that scary guys didn't lament over their actions like he was. It was spoken casually. Equally easy. As if it were just an observation and not some overly-thought-out attempt to console him. He was grateful for it and let his gaze pull from her and to the air in front of them while he nodded. [break][break]

When she affirmed she was more scary than she looked, he only half-stifled a chuckle and nodded some more. Just as he thought, she probably would have made it out of the bar altercation without his intervention. Considering it, perhaps the guy had made it out easy with only some broken fingers. [break][break]

The chuckle quieted but he kept his lips lazily quirked as she went on to insist scary people could change and then offered her brother's words. Ashley could only hope the first of what she said was true. And the latter half, he knew too well to be. It'd taken him years and years to unlearn Dino's defensive anger. To center himself and to keep the heat in his blood, when it warmed, from boiling. From hearing more than just the pound of it in his skull and to keep his fingers from curling into his palm at the first hint of nastiness. He was better. And proud of it. But if tonight was anything to go off of, he still wasn't perfect. [break][break]

"He sounds very wise," he mused sincerely, mouth tugging faintly. He wondered if the road to such understanding had been as much of a battle for her brother as it'd been for him. He figured it wasn't something someone typically learned with ease or grace. He supposed, though, that Maddie had often been there to talk him down on those occasions very similar to their current one. They were fortunate to have one another. Even when they weren't getting along, it was obvious she cared a great deal for him. [break][break]

When she went on to sus him out as some big softie, dotting on his elderly neighbors and saving cats from trees, Ashley closed his eyes, tipped his head back, and let his grin part around a wide-smiled laugh that he could feel in his chest. Shoulders shaking, he lifted a hand to smooth with pretended sheepishness across his brow. He felt caught. Hilariously called out. [break][break]

"Sorry. It's only so funny because you're not far wrong," he admitted amusedly, then hummed for a considering moment. "I'm, uh... a caretaker at Lakepoint Senior Living — looking after the old ladies after they're poked by their families or... if lacking that...their doctors into lonely, little rooms. And I," he had to chuckle again and gave a tiny shake of his head. "Also foster dogs." It wasn't quite rescuing kittens from trees but he imagined it was close enough. [break][break]

He glanced at her again, mouth tucking a bit at her smirk. He wished it was as easy as she'd made it seem, to figure someone else out. Whether she'd been making a simple joke or not, he could tell that she was good at reading people. But whether that was due to a job in public service or just a skill she'd had to obtain (perhaps by necessity) through her life, could only be guessed at. Living in East End could have been a choice but it was more likely her job wasn't particularly lucrative. "What do you do then?" He rolled his shoulders and quirked a brow. "Could consider career advisory if you haven't already."




[break]

Tag: Maddison Lancaster [break]
This is such a wreck, forgive lmaooo [break] Let me know if you need more to work with!

[newclass=.kestrelflight-text b]color:#2F4845;font-size:8pt!important;font-weight:700!important;font-family:Open Sans, sans serif!important;[/newclass][newclass=.kestrelflight-text a]font-size:8pt!important;font-family:Open Sans!important;[/newclass][googlefont=Poppins][googlefont=Open Sans]

[Maddison Lancaster]

What follows has led me to this place
Where I belong with all erased

---

Maddie nodded in agreement when he commented that Mason sounded wise. It had taken a lot of trial and error for him to get to that point, but she generally valued the insight he gave her. Except the times when she was being stubborn, like now. But, even when she was stubborn and mad and being a brat, she knew that he’d really turned himself into someone to be proud of. She was proud of him. He had a career, he had a home, he had a life. He wasn’t just drifting, trying to find his place in the world like she was.

Her smile faded slightly when she thought about why Mason had turned out to be the better of the two of them. He’d always been there, trying to protect her, trying to keep her as innocent as possible. She didn’t want to think about how much worse things would have been for her, had he not been the buffer between her and their father. It wasn’t until he was eighteen and moved out that she realized just how much he’d been protecting her for all those years. And now here she was, mad at him for just trying to celebrate his birthday with his mom and sister at the same time. But Mason had to be used to it by now. This wasn’t the first time, and probably wouldn’t be the last time that she got upset with him for something that wasn’t really his fault.

Mason’s transformation from punk kid to productive member of society is part of what spurred Maddie’s imaginative guesses about Ashley. When he laughed and admitted she wasn’t too far off, she let out a surprised laugh. “Really?”

When he explained what he actually did, caretaking for the elderly and fostering dogs, a full hearted laugh bubbled up. “Oh my god, I bet those old ladies just love you. And fostering dogs? I mean, that’s the most unscary combination I could picture. I knew it.”

He turned the questions around on her, his commentary making her giggle again before answering him. “Nothing quite so altruistic for me.” She shrugged. “I wait tables. It keeps the bills paid.”

Her job had never been a source of fulfillment in her life, but she didn’t know what she actually wanted to do. She was getting closer and closer to thirty, but she didn’t feel like as much of an adult as she should. She drifted through life, unmoored by a real career, a family of her own, or any real responsibilities. She ran from commitment. Most of the things that Miranda had said to her were things she was already stressed out about. Who did she want to be? What did she have to show for all the hard work she put in?

She had her own apartment. She didn’t need to rely on anyone else. She didn’t have to answer to anyone else. That was what she had to show for it. Her independence.

---

Ashley Wolfe
Let me know for changes

[Ashley Wolfe]

[nospaces]

I HAD ANOTHER DREAM

i had another life; no one saw the blood on my hands

[break]

[attr="class","kestrelflight-text"]Maddie laughed — really laughed. The noise of it was notably unlike the chuckles and quieter chimes they'd exchanged so far. It was fuller... freer... and Ashley couldn't help but glance at her to appreciate how it pulled more genuinely at her face. The sight broadened his own smile and kept it fixed firmly as he shook his head with lingering amusement, inwardly snorting at his own predictability. [break][break]

When she answered, only after another giggle, that she waited tables, Ashley reined himself in. He kept an easy grin on his face but made it smaller and more casual as he turned his face to study her more decidedly. The shrug of her shoulders and the tone of her voice made it sound like what she was really saying was, she just waited tables. Just paid the bills. As if it were nothing. [break][break]

It made him wonder if she had other dreams. Waitressing wasn't typically a job someone intended to do forever. Had she wanted to do something else? Entertained other possibilities or maybe even given them a try? Or had she not been allowed the chance? Was she happy, where she was and with what she was doing? [break][break]

Ashley was lucky. While there was still a lot more he wanted from his life — so much that he wasn't sure he'd be granted enough time to see it all done — he was more than content with what he had at the moment. Getting up and going to work had never seemed menial or tedious. He loved the retirement home, its familiar, sterile-smelling halls, and the patients whose days he did his best to brighten. Even enjoyed poking a little endearing, uplifting fun at the more jaded and less-enthused coworkers as they complained about vomit, bedpans, and the notoriously-belligerent and cranky Mr. Smith. He loved walking and washing his dogs. Days on the beach. Lonely nights in his backyard. Watering his plants and weeding his lawn. Every day was something special, something he knew he had to hold on to for what it was. Partly because he knew, too, that he wasn't meant to have it at all. And that any one of the days could be the last he was allowed. [break][break]

But it hadn't always been so. He knew what it was like, too, to wander without aim. To just be scraping by. Not with money. But with everything else but money. To wonder if what he was doing was right or enough. To want more for himself. [break][break]

But as much as he was innately curious — as much as he wanted to ask and to know — he acknowledged he had no real invitation to pry. Had no grasp on how receptive Maddie would be to a practical stranger trying to weed through her desires, ambitions, and what else might be driving her to East End bars; how chafing instead of welcomed it might be. [break][break]

So he glanced forward once more and kept his smile unchanged as he quirked a brow and spoke, voice still pleasantly airy. "I don't know about that. The not altruistic part, I mean." He tipped his head and arched a brow, trying to look as waggish as he sounded. "I think a plate of eggs and a cup of coffee can be particularly life-saving some mornings." His grin curled into something subtly sly as he shot her another quick glance, letting it linger before he continued more sincerely. "Seriously... who knows how many mornings you've made cheerier, made better, just for being a friendly face. Or how many people enter your restaurant, hoping you're working. " He shrugged. "And anyway, if all you're doing at the end of the day is paying bills and breathing, maybe... maybe that's enough sometimes."




[break]

Tag: Maddison Lancaster [break]
This is such a lame wreck, forgive me [break] Let me know if you need more to work with!

[newclass=.kestrelflight-text b]color:#2F4845;font-size:8pt!important;font-weight:700!important;font-family:Open Sans, sans serif!important;[/newclass][newclass=.kestrelflight-text a]font-size:8pt!important;font-family:Open Sans!important;[/newclass][googlefont=Poppins][googlefont=Open Sans]

[Maddison Lancaster]

What follows has led me to this place
Where I belong with all erased

---

Ashley disagreed with her about the altruism of her job, but Maddie just shook her head as he spoke. He painted a nice picture, and she knew that there was some value to what he was saying, but she just couldn’t agree. “As romanticized and poetic a concept you make it sound, really, it’s not an important job. People will eat whether I’m there to serve them or not. It’s not like I’m out there fighting fires or helping the elderly. I don’t stop crime or put my own life at risk.” She shrugged. “I do have some regulars, but I’m pretty sure they make my day more than I make theirs.”

His other point, about it being enough sometimes, had merit to it. There were far too many times her parents hadn't been able to do what she was doing now. They hadn't been able to keep a roof over their heads, moving from apartment to apartment around East End when the current landlord evicted them for nonpayment of rent. Elijah had always held a job, but Miranda couldn’t stay employed. Their addiction kept them from spending money on the important things. Rent was an afterthought, and they often skipped paying the power bill until their lights got shut off.

“Though, I do have a stable enough income to support myself, and you’re right, sometimes that is enough.” She was determined not to ever get evicted. At least, not for something she had control over. So far, her landlord didn’t seem bothered by anything as long as her payments were in full and on time. Which, she made sure that they were, at all costs.

“How did you become a caretaker?” She was curious, because it didn’t seem like the kind of job that most people even thought about, though she did imagine that it could be extremely rewarding. “Oh, and how do you have the energy to take care of people all day and still foster dogs?”

Boundaries weren’t something Maddie thought about most of the time. She hadn't considered that he might not want to talk about his personal life, or the reasons why he chose his career. Her curiosity was more than just surface deep. She actually wanted to know how he figured out his path, how he decided what to do with his life. Especially since he’d told her that he distanced himself from a toxic family. She had a tendency to blame her parents for the things that were unfulfilling in her life. It was just a way to justify her insecurities and fear of commitment.

---

Ashley Wolfe
Let me know for changes or if you need more than this mess.

[Ashley Wolfe]

[nospaces]

I HAD ANOTHER DREAM

i had another life; no one saw the blood on my hands

[break]

[attr="class","kestrelflight-text"]Ashley sucked at his teeth as he watched Maddie shake her head. She disagreed with his idealization of her job; undermining, or perhaps in her eyes, simply stating, the unimportance of it all when compared to "grander" things. It was a shame, really, but he only blinked at her and nodded slowly. It wasn't his place to try and convince her otherwise and doing so was rarely easy, if feasible at all. And he couldn't really fault her for it. "Hmm. Well, we can't all be superheroes. There's only so many fires, so many seniors, and so much crime out there, after all. I'm sure the firefighters, the cops, and even Grandpa Joe around the corner, are all grateful someone's there with a smile and a Lumberjack Slam at the start of their day. Or in the middle, you know... whenever." [break][break]

He kicked the toe of his shoe into the sidewalk and tipped his head on his shoulders, facing forward and briefly considering whether or not he should simply leave it there. He could see apartment buildings in the distance and he had a feeling any more he attempted to say on the matter would seem preachy or like a bunch of fluffy nonsense. But he pursed his lips and inwardly shrugged. If she had enough or if he irked her too badly, he suspected she was the type of woman who'd simply tell him so. Maybe even shoo him down the street as she asserted she'd be fine to make the rest of the way herself. [break][break]

"I suppose I am biased. My mom has played waitress and hostess in the same diner like... all her life. In school, through her pregnancies, after the kids were born and Dad made it clear she didn't have to." He shrugged, a smile pulling briefly at the corners of his mouth as he remembered all the times he and Dane had slipped into her diner after school. Watched her lift her head from wherever she was in the room and beam at them before ushering them into a secluded booth in the back corner, where they'd make a mess of salt shakers, straw wrappers, and whatever else was on hand. "I obviously haven't spoken to her in years, but I'm sure she's still doing it. I think she just liked it. They were like her second little family, everyone there. A little escape from us, maybe."[break][break]

He glanced down at her again, lips tucking once more. "I hope, 'maybe one day', you can look at it in a nicer light. Or at least are able to find something else that feels important enough to you while still paying the bills." He blew a breath through his nose, feeling that he was about to make a fool of himself but unable to really talk himself down. He let his mouth twist into something inwardly chastising and preemptively embarrassed as he drew a hand across his face and started, smiling as he spoke. [break][break]

"It's not so bad... being romantic and poetic about things like that. I didn't always look at things that way. Had to force myself to at first. Affirmations through gritted teeth and the like." It was an understatement. When he'd first left his name behind and become Ashley, the world had been dark. Most of him had been dark — numb, twisted up, and angry. A lot of the time, it seemed so much easier to tip into the vacancy; to seek the crutches Dino had used to support himself for years and slip back into who he'd been. "But once I got the hang of it, and looking at things like that wasn't so hard, I think... everyday life sort of became easier... if that makes sense." [break][break]

"Life's really short, full of so few moments..." he trailed, pausing to quirk a brow apologetically as he acknowledged how cheesy and cliché he sounded. "Not to go full-blown Keating on you, if you're not into it... but... it'd be a shame to look back at the end of it and realize there was so much there, so much good to see — even in the mundane or the shit — that you missed. Or to wish you had done something else with the little time you had." [break][break]

He tipped his head back with a quiet laugh. "Okay, jeez — I hear it, I promise. I sound like a Hallmark movie — I'm done, swear." His brow jumped. "Maybe." He looked forward again and shook his head, letting his mind empty until she asked about how he'd come about finding his own job. [break][break]

"I suppose how one gets any job — I saw a posting and applied." Ashley shrugged. "I got an interview, told them Grandmas love me, smiled real big... and no one else must have been interested, they were short-staffed, or... maybe they read me as easily as you did... because they called me back within the week." It wasn't an exciting story. The retirement home was close to West Hook and he'd had no real ambitions to do anything specific at the time. But he'd been warmed by the thought of doing something good. Of helping people when the rest of his life had been spent destroying them. And, perhaps somewhere deep down, he'd also been aware that a retirement home was a place that'd challenge him on darker days — stocked as it was with the very same medications he'd spent years coveting and shoveling into himself. [break][break]

Her next question was about his dogs — how he had the energy for them — and Ashley felt his chest nip with warmth. Most of the time he didn't think of them as a chore (though they most certainly were). "Eh, I just do my best." He responded flippantly, scrunching his nose. "It is a lot. Sometimes it seems like all I do — scoop poop, baths, clean-up, clinic visits, walks, training. And most of the ones that come my way are the ones that need the most help, so sometimes it's a bit tougher than usual." [break][break]

"But they make it worth it. When you see their progress and watch them slowly come into themselves. When they give those little huffy sighs and cozy up with you on the couch while you watch movies. Plop their chins on your stomach and beg to be scritched behind the ears. Find their favorite toy and love it to pieces." He cast her a sly, sidelong look, a smile sneaking at the corner of his mouth. "And that's just the old people. The dogs are pretty rewarding, too, I suppose." His lips pulled into a full-blown beam, far too amused with himself, and he barked a sarcastic laugh. When he let it die, he shook his head. "And really, sometimes I am too exhausted. I'll skip the yard some nights. Save a couple of baths for the next day. Go straight to bed when I get home instead of play. But they don't hold it against me. They're better than people in that way."[break][break]

"Now what about you?" He chanced careening just a hair sidelong, edging close enough to nudge an elbow against her encouragingly before he straightened his stride again. "What do you do when not working? What would you like to do for a job? And I mean like, if there was nothing that could hold you back. No bills to worry about and all that."




[break]

Tag: Maddison Lancaster [break]
Wew, this is like 70% dialogue and Ashley is a lame boy ;v; [break]
Give me a nudge for any changes at all!

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[Maddison Lancaster]

What follows has led me to this place
Where I belong with all erased

---

He was right, not everyone could be the noble hero, the protector, the caretaker. But there had to be something else out there for her. Some calling that she just hadn't found yet. She liked how he made her current job sound though. She would like to think that she made a difference, that her regulars looked forward to seeing her or that a smile and conversation could make someone’s day. It was just hard to see it as important. She also felt, in part, that her job made her interactions with people ingenuine much of the time. Smiles and a little flirting tended to earn larger tips.

When he brought up his mom and how she worked in a diner his whole life, his romanticized view of the restaurant business made sense. Some of her coworkers brought their kids in from time to time. Generally it was nights where their babysitter fell through at the last minute and it was either bring the kid or miss out on a night’s pay, and missing pay usually wasn’t an option. Though, from the way he described his mother’s work, it seemed like their circumstance was a bit different. He’d said she played waitress and hostess, mentioning his dad making it clear that she didn’t have to.

Maybe she just enjoyed it, and that was great. Some of the servers that worked with her, mostly women who were on dayshift and had been there almost forever, seemed to love it. Especially Penny, the short old woman who opened up nearly every morning, always there before even the manager got in, getting the coffee going and preparing for the day. Penny only worked four or five hours a day, but she was always smiling and chatting with anyone who would listen to her stories.

Ashley confirmed what she’d thought, speculating that his mom just liked the work, and maybe even used it as an escape from them. “It definitely does feel like coworkers can become another family sometimes.The ones who stick around, anyway.” There was a lot of turnover in the restaurant business, but there were the ones who stuck it out, who bonded and hung out when they had those rare days off together. Tina was her own work bestie, and even kept trying to set her up with guys all the time, always telling her she’d found Mr Perfect. “It’s not a bad industry to work in, really, it just feels lacking, sometimes.” She shrugged slightly as he continued, nodding when he expressed hope for her to either view it in a better way or find something she felt was important. She shared that hope, to be honest.

Maddie watched as several emotions seemed to cross his face, unable to really read his expression until he smiled again. When he spoke again, what he was saying to her had the kind of profound wisdom that she should have expected from someone who had gone through a journey like the one he’d described. Leaving a toxic family, working hard to make a better life. It had to come with a steep learning curve and a lot of bumps along the way. “Hey, there could be worse things than sounding like a Hallmark movie.” She smirked. Hallmark movies were some of her favorite guilty pleasures. Mason always mocked her and said they were all the same, especially their Christmas movies that she had running nonstop in the holiday season. But there was something about the predictability, about every movie having a happy ending, that she loved.

She smirked when Ashley mused that the nursing home may have read him just like she did, assuming they certainly must have. It seemed obvious to her, at least. She listened as he went on to explain about the dogs. Then he joked about it being the old folks, and Maddie couldn’t hold back her laughter. She hadn't expected it, but was happy to see that he looked quite pleased with himself. The smile suited him much better than the earlier turmoil.

“Dogs can be the best, definitely better than people sometimes.” She thought about Max and how sweet he was. How he demanded to get her attention as soon as she walked in whenever she visited Mason’s house. Max was the best boy. She also spoiled him whenever she watched him for Mason, according to Mason. Though she knew for a fact that Mason also doted on his pup, so it wasn’t like he could really hold it against her.

“Well, when I’m not working, I guess I’m just kind of, existing.” Maddie shrugged, then blew out a slow breath. “I guess I have a hobby. I sew, mostly tops and dresses. Pants are a pain and I hate making them.” It was easier to just buy a pair of jeans than deal with the frustration that came with making them. But her closet was full of shirts, dresses, and even a few skirts she’d made. And being able to sew meant when she had to hem her pants because she was a shorty, she didn’t have to pay someone else to do it for her. “I used to want to be a fashion designer. But after really learning how to sew, I don’t think I’d want to be a designer for a living. But, maybe being a stylist or working in costuming or something would be fun.” Their meandering pace was bringing them ever closer to her building, though Maddie wasn’t in any rush. She was finding both the conversation and the company a nice distraction from both the events of that night and the stupid anger she’d been holding onto.

---

Ashley Wolfe
This is a bit of a trainwreck. Let me know for any changes.