Post by Katrina Wells on Aug 6, 2023 14:07:34 GMT -5
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July 17th, 2023
The house is on fire. I don't know when it really started or how long it's been like this. Maybe it always has been. I know I first really noticed the flames when I found Bee hanging from that beam. When they first started licking at my legs and trying to swallow me whole. I think I probably noticed before but just didn't pay attention. Didn't want to think about it. And maybe it's weird to not know how long the house has been on fire but when something just is the way it is for as long as you can remember it's hard to think of it as noteworthy or really keep track of it at all. The way most people might get used to a cobweb in the basement or a stain on the ceiling. Sure you notice it when it's right in front of your face but most of the time you don't think about it.
I don't try very hard to put it out anymore. I used to back when I first realized what was happening. I'd try with all of my might to fight these flames that were consuming the house I grew up in. Consuming the people I loved. Day and night I tried as hard as I could. I swear I did. Burned myself in ways that I don't think will ever heal correctly. Leaving nasty scars across my body that I don't know if anyone else notices. But it just wasn't enough. And one day I think I realized it was never going to be enough.
So now I just do what I can to keep things standing. To keep the fire at bay and pray to whatever god that will listen that it doesn't take one of my brothers away. To try in some ways to push back the flames and hope that in some little way that makes everything okay. I don't know...
Sometimes I wonder if I'm destined to live my entire life putting out fires I didn't start.
♡
July 17th, 2023
The house is on fire. I don't know when it really started or how long it's been like this. Maybe it always has been. I know I first really noticed the flames when I found Bee hanging from that beam. When they first started licking at my legs and trying to swallow me whole. I think I probably noticed before but just didn't pay attention. Didn't want to think about it. And maybe it's weird to not know how long the house has been on fire but when something just is the way it is for as long as you can remember it's hard to think of it as noteworthy or really keep track of it at all. The way most people might get used to a cobweb in the basement or a stain on the ceiling. Sure you notice it when it's right in front of your face but most of the time you don't think about it.
I don't try very hard to put it out anymore. I used to back when I first realized what was happening. I'd try with all of my might to fight these flames that were consuming the house I grew up in. Consuming the people I loved. Day and night I tried as hard as I could. I swear I did. Burned myself in ways that I don't think will ever heal correctly. Leaving nasty scars across my body that I don't know if anyone else notices. But it just wasn't enough. And one day I think I realized it was never going to be enough.
So now I just do what I can to keep things standing. To keep the fire at bay and pray to whatever god that will listen that it doesn't take one of my brothers away. To try in some ways to push back the flames and hope that in some little way that makes everything okay. I don't know...
Sometimes I wonder if I'm destined to live my entire life putting out fires I didn't start.
☽LIA☾