[Nathaniel Collins]

[googlefont=Allura][googlefont=Montagu Slab][nospaces]

For a while there, it was rough

But lately, I've been doin' better

[attr="class","NATHANIEL_wait"][break]

This had been a terrible idea, the worst. Nate had tried to talk himself into canceling through the whole day, but he’d made the mistake of telling Kat that he was going on a date after work. He’d have just enough time to go home to shower and change, then head to the cafe that they planned to meet at. [break][break]

Kat gave him the look when he’d mentioned canceling out loud. She knew that he was panicking, that he still thought that he wasn’t ready for this. A first date. He’d been talking to this person for a little over a week, and things seemed to be going okay over the phone so far. But that didn’t mean that they would hit it off as well in person. Nate wasn’t sure he was prepared for them to hit it off, either. [break][break]

The Friday afternoon went by quicker then most, probably because Nate was anxious about the evening and wanted to put it off. But now it was too late, it would be rude to cancel at the last minute. Wouldn’t it? Did it even matter if it was rude? [break][break]

Of course it mattered. He could just hear Nadia’s lecture if he’d asked for her advice. [break][break]

“You’ll be fine you big baby, stop worrying so much.” Kat picked up her purse and her work bag. “I’ve got to run to get Ella from after school care before they charge me for being late again, but text me later if you need me. And for goodness sake, try to relax and have fun. You deserve a bit of fun.” [break][break]

“Did you call me a baby?” Nate grabbed his own keys off his desk as well. [break][break]

“That can’t be the only thing you heard in all of that.” Kat rolled her eyes at him. “Just text me later, okay? And try not to overthink things.” [break][break]

“Sure thing.” They both knew he was absolutely going to overthink, it was just what he did. It wasn’t worth voicing, though. “Does Ella still have that recital tomorrow?” Nate asked as they stepped into the elevator. “Yeah, and you’d better be there.” She pressed the button for the lobby, and the elevator started with a small jump that they were both used to by now. Nate fully expected it to break down at any time, but the facility maintenance workers insisted it was fine, working as intended. [break][break]

Nate promised he’d be there for Ella’s performance, and to text Kat at the end of the night, and they parted ways. She was still going to be late picking Ella up again, but there wasn’t much for it. Joszef was coaching Q’s little league team, and Ella’s after school program got out at five-thirty, not leaving much time to get through traffic and pick her up. If he got out earlier than Kat, he’d offer to go grab her, but since they worked just about the same hours it wouldn’t do much good. [break][break]

As it was, today he was cutting it close too. He was supposed to be at the cafe at six o’clock. Luckily it was a little place that was in walking distance to his apartment and he wouldn’t have to find parking, so after a quick shower and change he was back out the door. [break][break]

He made it a couple minutes to six, and scanned the tables. No one seemed to be waiting, so he found an empty table where he could sit facing the door. Every time it opened, he watched to see if the person coming through was looking around. Ten minutes passed by, then twenty. Nate decided he should at least get a drink, so he ordered an oat milk latte while he waited. Another twenty minutes and he was done with his coffee. He checked his phone several times, but had no messages. [break][break]

Leaning against the back of the chair, Nate let out a quiet sigh. It was almost seven now. He pulled out his phone again, still no messages. Opening the conversation with Kat, he quickly typed ‘I knew this was a mistake… no show’, then he hit the send button. He smirked when he got back an immediate ’fuck ‘em, they missed out’ back from her, more or less what he’d expected from her.

[attr="class","NATHANIEL_wait_note"]OPEN | Feel free to take this any direction, could be who he’s waiting for showing up late, or someone else, anyone really.

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[Ezra 'Ez' Donnovan]

Ezra stopped by the cafe on his way from his shift at the bar to the gym. At least, he was telling himself he would go to the gym. He went every few days when work was tame and in between covering over shifts.

He felt eyes on him the moment he walked in. A man at one of those 'romantic style' tables, the seat across from him painfully empty. Normally not something Ez paid much attention too, but the guy seemed more than a little tense. He had a weary hopefulness in his eyes, clearly desperate for the next person that walked in to make eye contact with him and be whoever it was he was obviously waiting for. Even now, every time the little bell rang, the guy looked up.

The longer the line took, and the more Ezra debated on what exactly he wanted to drink, the more he doubted he would go to the gym at all. Still, he wanted a coffee. Specifically, a vanilla cold brew with no cream or sugar, he decided when it was his turn to order.

"Ezra," called the served, lifting up his drink. The brunette grinned and picked up his coffee with a soft thanks.

He turned around to find the man still seated at the little table, still alone, and from the look of him leaning back and drooping into the chair, more than a little sad. He knew that feeling of being stood up. Something about the man, in his rustic flannel and jeans and that puppy dog expression, convinced Ezra maybe he did have more important things to do than go to the gym.

He took a sip of his coffee, hummed softly in enjoyment of the taste and the perfect amount of ice, and then stepped up to the little table, set down his cup, pulled out the chair and sat down, elbows on the table, a little grin on his lips as he looked the man over. He was cute. Clearly, he'd cleaned up just for this moment, and Ez would hazard to say he'd done a bang-up job, if gone a bit heavy on the cologne. "This seat taken?" he asked after already planting himself there as if he belonged. "Too cliche? Yeah, too cliche. How about... 'It's dangerous for you to be in the frozen foods section, because you could melt all of the stuff.'" This wasn't likely any better. Still, he grinned as he slightly misquoted the movie. One he wasn't sure the guy would know and probably it was a bit much and very forward, but Ez had no problem being himself. And besides, the point was to be funny. Hopefully.

[Nathaniel Collins]

[googlefont=Allura][googlefont=Montagu Slab][nospaces]

For a while there, it was rough

But lately, I've been doin' better

[attr="class","NATHANIEL_wait"][break]

It had to have been over a hundred times that Nate picked up his phone and put it back down while he was sitting there, waiting like an idiot. He wasn’t sure why he’d put himself in this position in the first place. He wasn’t sure he was even ready to be going out on dates. But it had been more than three quarters of a year already. He had to move on, to put his failures and mistakes behind him and put himself out there. [break][break]

He’d been so wrapped in his thoughts about the no show date that he didn’t realize when one of the guys who had been in line waiting for their drink had made his way over to the table. It wasn’t until he sat down across from him that Nate was pulled from his thoughts. [break][break]

Before he had an opportunity to say anything, the other man started on what could only be described as a pick up line, declared it too cliche and then went for another. Nate had no idea where he pulled the second one from, but at the very least, it was amusing. He could feel the smirk tug at the corner of his lips, despite his souring mood just a moment before. [break][break]

“That’s a good one. Almost as good as ‘if you were words on a page, you’d be fine print’..” Nate smiled wider. “That’s awful. Sounded better before I said it out loud.” [break][break]

There was no denying the man who sat across from him was attractive. He looked at least a bit younger, and by all rights, Nate would consider him way out of his league. But he’d been the one to sit, the one to jump in with pick up lines that, while would never really actually work, were funny enough to break the ice. So what was the harm in letting go and just seeing what happened? [break][break]

“I’m Nate.” He introduced himself. “And to answer your question, no, seat’s not taken. Was supposed to be, but online dating is kinda a bitch, right?” He was sure that it had been clear he’d been waiting for someone, so there was no point tiptoeing around that topic.

[attr="class","NATHANIEL_wait_note"]Ezra 'Ez' Donnovan | it’s a little short, let me know for changes or if you need more

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[Ezra 'Ez' Donnovan]

He got a smile, even just a small little smirk, and it was enough. Not in the least because he had seen the man sporting an anxious expression for the past who knows how long and the smirk fit his features so much better. That small upward turn to his lips that made it look like he knew something funny that no one else did. It was much more attractive than his look before. Not that Ez would dare say he hadn't looked cute from where he was standing.

Even better, the handsome stranger returned him with a cheesy pic-up line of his own. It didn't sound like it was from a movie, but he was only more encouraged to have his banter returned. And of course, cheesy or not, who didn't like to be called fine?

"They were both pretty awful...but I think their meaning still stands," he suggested, only the bit of a question in his raised eyebrow. Ez was still building up his real-world experience, but even he had learned that using goofy jokes to flirt with people didn't usually go very far. And could be downright risky if someone took offense. But no risk, no reward, he supposed. they could just be two passersby in a coffee shop and forget about it tomorrow if that was the preference.

But his handsome blonde stranger broke the ice with a name first. And Ez figured he should stop thinking of Nate as just a handsome stranger and as Nate. Whoever Nate was. Someone looking for company. Someone willing to risk putting himself out there in the world of online dating and then having the balls to show up and wait painfully. Someone who knew cheesy pick-up lines. Someone who didn't mind another guy using cheesy pick-up lines on him as a cold open. Someone who, the more Ez studied his eyes (and he was not shy about making eye contact) looked exhausted and worn out.

"Ezra," he returned, offering his hand across the table to shake. He wasn't sure that was the right move, but the guy looked like he needed the physical contact. "Ballsy move," he noted. "Never tried it myself. Too much chance for rejection," he said. As if he hadn't just taken a similar chance. "But I bet I could beat your no-call, no-show," he said firmly, not taking no for an answer as he took a sip of his coffee. "Hit me with some online dating questions, Nate," he demanded, leaning his arms on the table.

[Nathaniel Collins]

[googlefont=Allura][googlefont=Montagu Slab][nospaces]

For a while there, it was rough

But lately, I've been doin' better

[attr="class","NATHANIEL_wait"][break]

The handsome stranger returned the introduction, and now Nate had a name to go with the face, Ezra. And it seemed that Ezra had been amused by his comeback with another cheesy pick up line, so that had been the way to go. Though, Nate wasn’t entirely sure what had caused the other man to sit across from him, to blatantly hit on him. Was it that obvious that he’d been stood up? That he’d been waiting for someone who was never going to show? [break][break]

Probably. [break][break]

The thought was enough to make him self conscious. He’d already said he’d been stood up, and having that known wasn’t the biggest issue. It was just that he felt a bit defeated, like it had been a neon sign pointing above his head saying that he was pathetic and hopeless. [break][break]

Even if that wasn’t true, it didn’t matter too much. They were sat across from each other and chatting now, so whatever the reason, he wasn’t going to let himself spiral and dwell on it. [break][break]

Nate reached across the table to shake the held out hand, then sat back as Ezra declared that he hadn't tried online dating, wanting to avoid rejection. “I find it hard to believe that you’d get much rejection, though it seems like there is no rhyme or reason to the way things happen on this app sometimes.” This wasn’t the first person he’d talked to on the dating app, but it was the first he’d agreed to meet. He’d probably been considered the flake more often than not at this point. He knew he had his reasons, and he assumed others did as well. Even if they weren’t obvious or didn’t make sense to anyone else. [break][break]

He could feel a slight blush warm his cheeks. He’d been perhaps too bold, but he was being met with just as much, if not more, boldness. He thought for a split second, then came up with a question. “Okay, I’ve been asked this one a few times. What is your biggest pet peeve?” It was a relatively tame question, but that’s what made it a good ice breaker.

[attr="class","NATHANIEL_wait_note"]Ezra 'Ez' Donnovan | let me know for changes

[newclass=.NATHANIEL_wait]padding: 15px;[/newclass] [newclass=.NATHANIEL_wait b]color:#3183AD;[/newclass] [newclass=.NATHANIEL_wait span]color:#856088;font-weight:bold;[/newclass] [newclass=.NATHANIEL_wait_note]text-align:center;font-size:9px;border-top:1px solid #b4b4b4;padding:2px;[/newclass] [newclass=.NATHANIEL_wait_note b]color:#3183AD;[/newclass]

[Ezra 'Ez' Donnovan]

Ezra smiled and let out a short laugh. The compliment when a bit over his head but he still found it amusing. He'd let Nate judge that for himself though, after they talked. If he wanted him to stay and talk. Nate could tell him to get lost at any moment, for any reason (the best amd worst reason being whoever he was waiting on appearing) and he would. But he hadn't yet, so he continued.

“I'll say,” he agreed. “Considering you seem like a catch,” he concluded after another once over. The man's fashion choices were a bit…simple, but it was cozy too. He had a good smile and handsome jaw and seemed to take good care of himself. Which is where it came down to personality. But even still…Ezra would at the very least enjoy a night with a guy like Nate rather than stand him up.

Ezra took another drink of his cold brew and hummed, dark eyes finding Nate's, studying him and testing his nerve to look back. “I see what you're doing there, Nate,” he said, buying himself time while he thought his answer over. “Ask me about things I hate so you can weasel out if I'm sane. Okay. So, normal pet peeves. Chewing with mouth open and those people who are on the phone all the time and still try to half talk to you or get upset when you think they are talking to you cause you can't see their earpiece.” Ezra imagined he had a both a lot and also a little. Growing up with so many siblings and two so close meant he had lived on top of people most of his life. Lots of things that bothered normal people didn't bother him.

“My weird pet peeve,” he continued, “People who name their kids all starting with the same letter.” He shrugged. It was funnier knowing he amd all his siblings shared this. But it irked Ezra nonetheless. “You?” He asked, giving the man time to answer before asking for another question.

[Nathaniel Collins]

[googlefont=Allura][googlefont=Montagu Slab][nospaces]

For a while there, it was rough

But lately, I've been doin' better

[attr="class","NATHANIEL_wait"][break]

The brazen flirting, face to face, was something that Nate instantly wanted to brush off. He could counter the statement easily enough, but what was the point? To scare Ezra off? If that was the goal, then what was he even doing here to begin with? [break][break]

It brought him back to a previous thought. Maybe he really hadn't been ready for this yet. Maybe he should have waited until he knew, for sure, that there was no hope for him and Luck. [break][break]

If he was honest with himself, he was already sure. It had been over a year. Both their birthdays passed, a round of major holidays. They were fast approaching the next round of holidays. If they hadn't reconciled by now, what point was there in thinking it would ever happen? [break][break]

None. [break][break]

That’s why he was doing this. That’s why he’d made himself come out tonight. He had to find a way to move on, to get past what he’d screwed up. Sure, it wasn’t all him, but he contributed. He grew complacent. He felt invisibile, and he let his own feelings fester and chip away at the care that he showed. He knew better. [break][break]

He should have just spoken up, told Luck that he was unhappy. But he didn’t. He cried about it on some stranger’s shoulder, then took his mind off it in their bed. And now he had to live with himself, he had to live with the choices that he’d made. [break][break]

“Well, I’m not so sure about that. But then again, aren’t we all our own worst critics?” He didn’t know how to spin it, how to make it more positive. He was definitely out of practice. [break][break]

Ezra started listing some of his pet peeves, and at first Nate agreed with all of them. Chewing open mouthed was just gross, and loud. And people were too wrapped up in themselves, cell phones just served to make it more widely acceptable, even if it was still rude. But then he got to allirative names. “You know, I work with a lot of kids and families. It’s actually a pretty common place habit.” He generally thought that it was cutesy, and as long as the names didn’t get ridiculous just for the sake of having the same letter, he didn’t see much wrong with it. Maybe if there were almost twenty kids, or however many that TV show family had, it would be obnoxious. “My sister's name also starts with ‘na’.” Nate revealed, smirking. [break][break]

“I’m with you on the chewing, though. Solidly.” He should have been prepared with his own answer for the question, should have known that he’d be asked. “I think, aside from the normal pet peeves everyone has, I really get bothered by people who make everything a competition or a quiz.” He didn’t know if it made sense or not, so he continued, leaning slightly foreward as he spoke. “Sports, or hobbies, fandoms, they all have people who do this. The fans who think if you don’t know every detail then it invalidates your opinion or something. For instance, someone can like a fantasy movie without knowing the name of every last character, or like a sports team without knowing all their stats, and it’s still valid. Not that the die hard fans would let them think so though.” He shook his head and let out a quiet laugh at himself. [break][break]

“Sorry, kinda went on a tangent there.” He leaned back in the chair, feeling more than a little self conscious. That answer had been, well, a lot. “So, what do you normally ask people?” [break]

[attr="class","NATHANIEL_wait_note"]Ezra 'Ez' Donnovan | this went a bit off the rails a couple times, let me know for changes

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[Ezra 'Ez' Donnovan]

"Well, in this case, your inner critic's opinion doesn't matter," Ezra said with a grin. He could appreciate modesty, but he wanted Nate to know that he still thought he was handsome. And maybe because he was still trying to feel out the guy's attitude toward other men. Ezra didn't assume preferences one way or the other, but he didn't wish to make anyone uncomfortable. Though, from the traded pick-up lines, he was pretty sure that the man's awkwardness was more from the no-show date than anything else.

Ezra chuckled, not surprised the man didn't share his more particular pet peeve, making a note about him saying he worked with kids a lot. A teacher maybe? He seemed a bit too...'neat' for that. "Fair," he said as Nate shared he and his sister shared the same starting syllable. It just being a name, Nate knew it wasn't that big of a deal, but that was why it was a more out-there pet peeve. He leaned in a bit again, almost conspiratorially. "I'm one of ten siblings," he started with a knowing look. Ten kids were a lot in modern society, he had since gathered. Even if it was normal where he was from. "And our names all start with the letter E." One or two, or even three kids with the same letter might not be crazy, but Ezra had heard of tv shows made out of smaller families.

He took another drink as Nate answered, relieved neither of them were quite prepared for the opening round of ice breakers. Ezra raised an eyebrow but nodded. As much as he enjoyed a fight and to compete, be that with movie knowledge or physical prowess, making 'everything' a competition seemed a bit much. Even just the mental drain, let alone the frustration and social disparity that Nate went on to describe. Having been forced to a standard throughout his entire childhood, while he wouldn't say he had 'competed' with all the Gifted in the cult, they had often been pitted against each other or held to ridiculous standards. Not that he had understood that at the time, but having seen how normal people functioned...well, needless to say there was a lot he now realized wasn't normal.

"Casual enthusiast are still enthusiasts," Ezra agreed. "No worries," he added with a smile. Clearly Nate was a passionate sort. That was just as appealing as his looks. That sort of self-conscious awkwardness was charming.

Ezra shrugged. "For their ID, usually," he said with a grin. He was aware Nate probably meant 'what did he ask people he went on dates with,' which was a very sweet way of implying this was a date, even if Nate didn't say it. "Oh, you meant on a date," he said with a chuckle. "I'll be honest...I'm pretty new to those," he said, hoping his honestly put the other man a bit more at ease. "I guess...about what you do for a living?" he proposed the question, then quickly continued. "I'm a bouncer at a bar and club. Hence asking for IDs," he explained his previous teasing answer, though left it quite open for more conversation. "You mentioned working with kids a lot?"

[Nathaniel Collins]

[googlefont=Allura][googlefont=Montagu Slab][nospaces]

For a while there, it was rough

But lately, I've been doin' better

[attr="class","NATHANIEL_wait"][break]

Ezra shared that he was one of ten kids, and Nate tried to picture how chaotic that must have been when he was growing up. Then again, maybe they had a system. Maybe his parents could handle that number of kids without issue. From the experiences with his job though, Nate knew that most families couldn’t truly cope with that many children. Not without some of them suffering, being neglected physically or emotionally. [break][break]

All of their names starting with the letter ‘E’ was also a lot. And it served to explain the pet peeve. “Oh… I guess in that case, the annoyance makes a bit more sense.” He didn’t want to make assumptions about Ezra’s family, but the revelations about the number of kids made him wonder if they were religious. Most families he’d seen with that many kids through his work were very religious. Or lacking access to family planning. [break][break]

There was a third option he came across, not infrequent enough, and that was abuse. Keep a woman pregnant and home with several babies and it was easier to trap, control, and abuse… [break][break]

Nate hoped that whatever the reason was that Ezra’s family had so many kids, that it had been a good family and not one of the horror stories. Though he knew that any family could be horrible. [break][break]

Why was he letting his thoughts go this direction? He refocused on the present conversation. He needed to be in the moment, not letting his thoughts race off into oblivion. [break][break]

“Yes, exactly!” It seemed that Ezra did get his point, having summed it up in much fewer words than Nate had managed himself. [break][break]

Nate was almost sure that confusion was written on his face when Ezra mentioned asking for ID. He was trying to work out what that meant in the brief pause before Ezra explained, then the feeling of confusion was replaced with relief. Being a bouncer made his answer make way more sense. [break][break]

“Clever.” Nate smirked, not sure if he fully believed that the other man was new to the dating world or if maybe this was some kind of line he used? He was going to choose to believe it was honest. After all, he didn’t have a reason to doubt that. [break][break]

“I’m sorely out of practice myself.” He sat forward slightly in his chair. “I’m in social work, a case manager.” He answered, explaining what he meant about working with kids. “So I see lots of kids, lots of families. Some with major problems, others just needing some help or support.” Mostly, it was the families with problems. They didn’t have enough resources to help every family that just needed them on a support basis. That was reserved for the special cases, the ones that were court ordered or where the parents were a misstep away from losing their kids if they didn’t do better. [break][break]

Nate realized it was Friday, and he was curious. “As a bouncer, aren’t Friday and Saturday nights kind of the busy nights?” He wondered if maybe Ezra’s shift started later, or if maybe he was just completely off base about how things like that worked.

[attr="class","NATHANIEL_wait_note"]Ezra 'Ez' Donnovan | let me know for changes

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[Ezra 'Ez' Donnovan]

Ezra grinned, feeling a little better that while Nate might not share his pet peeve, he still validated it. It was just one of those 'annoyed by proximity' things.

He could see the man reeling however slightly from learning he'd have nine other siblings. Of course, most of the families he had grown up around were similarly large. He'd only later learned that wasn't really normal. He'd always been jealous of the outside world for the fancy clothes or toys or other expensive things. But having finally escaped the life of living in a cult that forced girls to marry older men, that sought to control their Gifts, that forced children to fight... Ezra had learned it wasn't the material things he envied about them. It was how much simpler and yet...fuller their lives seemed. He was close to Em and Zeke...but he hardly knew his parents and they certainly hadn't loved and cherished and cared for him the way he saw dad's walking to the grocery store with their daughters or mom's driving them to sports.

The young man was very pleased with himself over the joke. Whether Nate believe him or not he didn't take personally. He certainly believed Nate. The man didn't seem to know what he was doing. Of course, being stood up was bound to make anyone feel like a fish out of water. And somehow Nate was still charming and interesting, and Ezra leaned forward on the table again.

Until he mentioned he was a social worker. Ezra let out a soft "oh," surprised. He took another drink and leaned back again. As a child, he had indeed talked to social workers before. But those were scripted interactions. The agent assigned to them and some of the others in the cult had specific questions and all the kids were coached how to answer, from things about their home schooling to what they did for fun. If they didn't, they would be punished after. Ezra had seen the woman talking to his parents and the cult leader and eventually determined she was in on it. Or at least that she had been traded a favor to look the other way. From just the few sentences he had exchanged with Nate and then with how he described his job, Ez got the feeling he was a lot more dedicated to his job. "I'm...a little familiar," he said, not really sure how to explain. Not sure he wanted to. That was a deep conversation. But he didn't want Nate to think he had a problem with him or his job.

"Friday, you say?" He looked at his wrist, as if he had a watch. As if his invisible watch would tell him the date. His invisible smart watch. "Kinda busy is an understatement," he agreed. "But I make my own hours so sometimes it's nice to have one of those days off," he half fibbed playfully. "And also yes, I will be covering the grave shift tonight. We move than around. I work at Fantasia, if you've ever heard of it? My siblings and I run it." He was more than happy to elaborate. "Course, lots of nights are busy around here."