[Aimee]

I'm over existing in limbo

I'm over the myths and placebos. I don't really mind if I just fade away.

Genesis Donovan: memories and snippets through age thirteen

CW: graphic violence, murder, suicide, child abuse/neglect

SPOILER: Click to show

***************

"Daddy, I don't like Amanda." Genie protested as Ray led her into the court house.

"That's enough, Genie." Ray picked up his four year old, turning her face so she was looking at him. "Amanda is going to be your new mommy. Stop whining about it."

"Okay, daddy." Genie still didn't like the woman who was standing next to her father in a short white dress. She wanted her real mommy, not a replacement. But her daddy told her to stop whining about it, so she stopped.

"Good. Go sit down and wait for us." Ray set Genie down and pointed to a row of chair, where the little girl climbed up and sat, hugging her stuffed panda as her father and Amanda waited to get get married.

***************

Genie was shaking. Her father had yelled at her and told her to be silent until he said she could speak again. She ran to her room and cried on her bed, unable to make a sound. She was so mad at him. She wanted to be away from him. She wanted to disappear. Eventually, she fell asleep.

"Genesis!" She woke up to her father yelling her name.

"Ray, she's only seven. Shouldn't we report her missing?" His latest wife, Liz, suggested.

"No. I'm not getting the cops involved in my affairs." Ray refused. He continued looking through the house.

Genie was sitting up on her bed when he came into her room again. She thought he saw her, he looked right at her, but then he walked out of the room again. She tried to call out to him, but she couldn't say anything still. He'd told her to be silent.

A while later Ray came into Genie's room again.

"Where were you?" He asked his daughter, anger clear in his tone. Genie stared at him, and he remembered that he'd told her to be silent. "Answer me!" He demanded.

"I've been here the whole time, Dad." She insisted.

"Tell me the truth." Ray grabbed her arm as he demanded the truth from her.

"I promise, dad!" The tears were welling up in her eyes. "I didn't go anywhere. You just couldn't see me."

"How did you do it?" He asked her.

"I don't know." She stared up at him, scared that he'd be even more upset with her. Instead, a smile spread across his face.

"Can you do it again?" He asked, already thinking of different ways he could exploit this if she had a gift this useful.

"I don't know how..."

***************

Another new city. Another new apartment. Another new stepmom. Genie wasn't fond of Candice. She was loud and mean. She didn't like kids, and she made it clear that Genie was just in the way. If she had mastered turning herself invisible at will already, then she would spend most of her time that way.

At eight years old, Genie had already had more step mothers than she could keep track of. She assumed Candice would be like the rest of them. She would either get sick suddenly, or crash her car into a lake, or hang herself. The last one had jumped from the interstate overpass.

"We're going to bed. Stay out of trouble." Candice slammed the bedroom door behind her and turned on some crappy music. Genie grabbed her stuffed panda and curled up on the couch she slept on. She hated it here more than most places. She didn't even have her own bedroom. She grabbed her book from the coffee table, and lost herself in the pages Charlotte's Web.

At some point while she was reading, Genie fell asleep. Hours later, she woke with a start when she heard a noise. She looked around, and felt panic rise inside her when she realized the window was open. Oh no. Not again. She tried to turn herself invisible, but she was unable to get her ability to cooperate.

"Dad! Dad!" She screamed loudly when she spotted the two men walking through the living room.

Ray came out of the bedroom, making a quick path to the two men. He grabbed them both, one by the wrist and the other by the side of the neck. "Freeze." He commanded, and they both stilled instantly. "Now, turn and look at my little girl. You don't want to make her an orphan, do you?" Both men turned to face Genie on the couch, but neither made an attempt to answer his question.

"Dad, stop.. we can just go. We can leave." Genie pleaded, already knowing what was going to happen. They'd been through similar situations before. The Hunters always found them, found him. And he always won the fight.

"Ray? What's happening?" Candice came wandering into the living room.

"Shoot her in the head, then your partner, then yourself." The man's eyes looked glazed over, already completely under Ray's spell.

"What? Ra-" Candice didn't process what was happening fast enough. The man followed Ray's directions, and three shots were fired in a matter of seconds. Genie had slammed her eyes shut when she saw him point the gun, but the man was close enough to her that she was still sprayed with his warm blood, viscera covering her and her stuffed panda.

"Genesis, hurry. Clean up and grab your bag. We're leaving." Ray went into the bedroom to get his own bag. He always had them keep a packed bag, for situations just like this.

Genie opened her eyes. Three bodies were crumpled on the floor. It took a few seconds before she made her feet move her to the bathroom so she could wash her face to get off the sticky blood that was already starting to dry. She changed her clothes and walked back out to the living room. She could already hear the sirens in the distance when she grabbed her backpack.

"Let's go." Ray held the door open, waiting for her to follow him out. She took a look back. Her panda was splattered in red and too gross to bring with them this time. "Now, little one. We don't have time."

***************

"I said do it." Ray's tone left no room for argument. He had a hand on her wrist as he spoke. He was using his gift on her. He wanted her to crawl through the air vent into the next room over in their motel.

"Please, dad? Don't make me." Genie resisted with all her might. She'd figured out she could ignore him, sometimes. "I don't want to do this. What if I get caught?"

Ray shook his daughter, angry that she was fighting back against his control. "You won't get caught if they can't see you. Just get over there."

"What am I even looking for?" Genie was doing everything she could to stall.

"You're looking for identification. Who are they? Hunters, or law enforcement? See what you can find about why they are here." Ray instructed her, and kneeled down to get eye to eye with her, both hands on her arms now. "Enough arguing with me. You are going to do this. Get your skinny ass through that vent and look for whatever information you can find."

Genie tried to continue resisting, but it was no use. She was moving toward the air vent. She turned invisible as soon as she climbed inside, and she followed her father's command.

***************

"Let me go!" Genie yelled, struggling to get out of the Hunter's grip. She was in a dead sleep when they came in, silent this time. She didn't have time to react before one of them grabbed her.

"Shut up and you won't get hurt." The guy had an iron grip on the thirteen year old, but she was trying her best to get free from him. Genie could hear the commotion in the rest of the house. Ray was arguing, and there were several gunshots. "You're coming with me."

The Hunter pulled her out through her bedroom window, snatching the girl's cell phone from her night stand as they passed by and shoving it in his pocket. He wanted to avoid the commotion, and he thought his plan was solid. Kidnap the guy's daughter and he was bound to turn himself in, right? It was better than following the plan and ending up dead like the rest of the Hunters on this suicide mission.

***************

"I don’t want to do this." Genie mumbled the words while sitting on the ground. She wiped the blood from the corner of her mouth. She hadn't been fast enough to dodge his fist. She knew it was pointless to protest, but she did anyway. They'd made it clear to her that she was going to work for them or she would be 'disposed of'. There were no other options.

Tobias only shook his head at his new young recruit. "Get up. Don’t get hit this time." He demanded, believing that she would improve. He had to believe it. He was responsible for her now. He'd made the decision to take her, to try to use her as bait. It hadn't worked out. He could have just gotten rid of her, but he didn't. Instead, he made the case that she could be useful to them.

"I hate you." Genie glared at him, refusing to get up.

"Good. You should." Tobias was unfazed.

Realizing that she wasn't going to out-stubborn him, Genie sighed and got up. She glanced at the small tattoo of an octopus on her wrist. It was still red and raw, only a couple days old now and barely beginning to heal. It itched.

"Let's go again." Tobias stood still, waiting for her to make the first move.

***************

Genie was worried as she watched Toby drive away. He was leaving her with the Wells family. She'd never been in this city, she'd never met these people. What were they like? Toby had assured her it would be fine. They had kids, she was the same age as one of their middle children. They were Gifted, but Mr. Wells and his oldest son were part of the Guild.

"You must be Genesis." Mr. Wells addressed her. There was no warmth in his tone, nothing inviting about his expression. She was just an assignment, something to be tolerated for a couple months then returned to where she belonged.

"Yes, sir." Genie nodded.

"I don't expect you to cause any trouble. You will do as you are told, when you are told. Understood?" Mr. Wells began walking to the parking lot, and Genie followed.

"Yes, Mr. Wells." She wasn't looking forward to this summer. She hoped that his family was more welcoming than he was. Not that anyone she'd been with had been welcoming so far, but he was like her. More accurately, he was like her father. He was a monster just like they were.

***************

[Aimee]

It's just another night, and I'm staring at the moon

I saw a shooting star and thought of you. You're on the other side as the skyline splits in two.

Oneshot for Emerson Vanderbilt

CW: grief and non-recent loss

SPOILER: Click to show

Eight birthdays as a lone twin. Eight days where Emie was supposed to be happy and celebrate making it through another year, but she felt like half of her soul was missing. Emmett should be here. On some level, she just wanted to ignore the day this year. Twenty two wasn’t anything special. It wasn't like sixteen, eighteen or twenty one. There were no milestones to build memories around, nothing notable about turning twenty two.

But that wasn’t what Emmett would want. He would want her to go on adventures, celebrate, make new memories, and just let life be good again.

Since the crash back in June, Emie had been thinking about Emmett a lot more than she normally did. She couldn’t help but wonder what he would be like now. Would he still be the sweet, obnoxious, annoying, fun loving brother that she remembered him as? Would they still be attached at the hip, doing everything together? Even with all their bickering, they were each other’s best friend. They shared secrets. They could be honest and real in ways that they couldn't be with other people, not even with Melissa or Liam.

Emie even missed the way they would argue over their cake should be every year. Emmett always wanted a marble cake with chocolate icing, and Emie always wanted an ice cream cake. Usually, their parents would relent and get them both cakes, figuring most kids had both cake and ice cream anyway.

The twins were two halves of one whole. Emmett wasn't just her brother. He was a part of her. No matter how many years passed, Emie felt his absence profoundly, especially on their birthday.

Later, she would be going to her dad's for a family dinner and celebration. There would be a rainbow assortment of balloons and decorations, the ice cream cake that was her favorite. Her dad and Angela, her stepmom, would put together a backyard cookout. Bacon cheese burgers and macaroni and cheese, her favorites, popped up almost every year. She would smile, she'd have a good time and celebrate with everyone. But there would be his absence clear in all of it.

Emie stepped out of her room, knowing Liam had already left for the day. He worked then had class in the afternoon. He'd be home in time for them to go to their parents' house. Mouse looked up from his perch on the back of the loveseat, and Hammy came rushing over to her, yapping at her heals as she walked toward the kitchen. She bend down to scratch between his ears, then continued on her way. The dog looked affronted at not being paid more attention, but slinked off back to his normal spot on the rug, laying down with a small huff.

"Hey, get the hell off the counter." Emie shook her head, letting a small smirk tug at the corners of her mouth. Squirrel was on the counter, trying to look innocent as he batted at the plastic container that was tucked in the corner. "That's not for you."

Emie gently pushed the cat off the counter, and then dug around the drawer until she found what she was looking for. She pulled out the package of birthday candles and a lighter, and pulled out one white candle. Her mom always said it was good luck to have one white candle. She pulled the plastic package forward, a marbled cupcake with chocolate icing that she'd picked up from a bakery down the street yesterday after work. She pushed the candle into the soft icing and light it, waiting a moment in silence.

"Happy birthday Emmett. I miss you." She blew the candle out, then wiped a tear from her cheek before taking the cupcake and moving to the couch. She had plans to watch "Jumper", one of the movies that Emmett would make her watch with him repeatedly when it was his turn to pick the movie.

[Aimee]

Oh, I hope some day I'll make it out of here

Even if it takes all night or a hundred years. Need a place to hide, but I can't find one near.

Oneshot for Genesis Donovan

SPOILER: Click to show

When there was no one there to know, no one to care, a birthday was just a day like any other. Genie had toyed with the idea of taking the day off of work, but she’d taken many days off recently and didn’t feel like making an excuse. So instead of staying home and doing nothing, she got up and went to work at her latest assignment - working reception at a dental office. The regular receptionist was out on maternity leave, and Genie had been filling in for the last few weeks. She was starting to get to know some of the other employees in the office, and they asked her questions all the time. Where was she from, what kinds of activities did she enjoy out of work, was she married, any kids? All the standard getting to know you questions that she usually avoided.

As loath as she was to admit it, it hadn't been the worst feeling. She had learned their names, observed some of their habits. She’d even been invited out for end of the week drinks, but she made an excuse about being too tired after the week, maybe next time. She was supposed to continue the assignment until the regular employee returned, so it should still be several more weeks.

On her way home after work, Genie had stopped to pick herself up a pumpkin chai flavored cupcake from the bakery around the corner from her apartment. She had plans to order herself something delivery for dinner, and crack open a bottle of wine.

Once she was in her apartment, she shed her work clothes and changed into soft pajama shorts, a baggy sweater, and cozy socks. She walked over to the counter to grab the bottle of wine, a glass, and the corkscrew. But the envelope still on the counter gave her pause.

When Genie had run into Katrina, she never intended on taking her up on the offer of pictures or even the letter that Bianca had left behind. After some thought, the curiosity had gotten the better of her. She’d met up with Kat again, looked at the pictures but declined taking them. However, she did take the letter. So far, she’d been too hesitant to open it. What could it possibly say? They hadn't seen each other for years before Bianca wrote it.

After staring at the envelope for too long, Genie shook her head. Tonight was not going to be the night she read it. It would wait for yet another day. A day when she wasn’t as big of a chicken shit. She grabbed the wine, corkscrew, and glass and then went to plop herself on the couch. She picked up her phone to order her dinner, but nothing sounded good anymore.

“Well, fuck.” She sighed, and got back up to grab the letter. “Thanks for the birthday present, Bianca.” She mumbled, before opening it to finally discover what secrets it had held for the past six years.

[Nathaniel Collins]

You're so close where do you end

Where do I begin? Always pushing and pulling

Oneshot for Nathaniel Collins

SPOILER: Click to show

A week passed by, and Nate knew that he needed to face the truth. He’d messed it all up. He’d added the one last straw to the pile that had been building for months. There was no taking it back, no returning from this mistake. He’d ruined them.

He walked into their apartment, now his apartment. Charlie came rushing to the door, tail wagging, waiting for his head pets. At least Charlie was happy to see him. “Hey, old man.” Nate placed his keys on the hook and bent down to pet Charlie. “How about we go for a nice long walk tonight? You’d like that, huh?”

The pooch wagged his tail excitedly, recognizing the word ‘walk’. Nate took a glance past Charlie, inside the apartment. There was still a blanket and pillows on the couch, where they’d been the past week. He let out a slow sigh and wiped a hand across his face. Dealing with reality could wait a little while longer.

Nate straightened back up and grabbed his keys off the hook again. He picked up Charlie’s leash and fastened it to his collar. “Come on Charlie. We need some fresh air.”

***************

“Are you sure you want to box everything?” Kathleen picked up a framed picture, looking at it with a sad smile on her face. “It’s a shame, really. This is a great picture of you both.”

“Kat, really?” Nate shook his head. “Yes, I’m sure. I have to. There are too many reminders laying around.” He looked at the picture Kat had just put back down. She was right, it was a great picture of them both. A stranger had taken it for them when they were in Greece. They’d been so happy there, it was a beautiful country. They’d talked about going again, but that would never happen now. At least, not the two of them.

Nate picked up the frame and gently set it in the box with the others. The last decade of his life, his entire time with Luck was going into these boxes, to be tucked away in a closet and forgotten about. It was time to move on.

***************

“No. Kat, come on. You really want me to dress up as Hades?” Nate laughed as he looked through her phone. She had several pictures from when he was in college. He’d joined a fraternity and been a part of ‘Greek life’, but that felt like it was a completely separate lifetime now. “How did you even get these pictures?”

Kathleen and Nate had gone to college together, and they’d both ended up working in Los Eurosia eventually. Kat likely had the pictures saved this whole time, just waiting for the right time to pull them out and blackmail him with them. Nate was apprehensive about what other pictures she might still have floating around all these years later. He was a very different person now than he had been more than twelve years ago.

“Give me that back.” She giggled and attempted to snatch her phone back from him, but his height gave him an advantage and he held it out of her reach. “You don’t want to see everything in there, Nate.”

“Oh, what, you got something too racy in here? I didn’t think you and Jozef took those kinds of pictures.” Nate smirked, and clicked to the next picture. His expression dropped and he stared at the screen silently.

“Not the kind of pictures I was talking about. You want to talk about it?” She used a gentle tone, and stopped trying to grab her phone from his hands.

“When did you take this? Where even was this?” It was a picture that he hadn't seen before, one of him and Luck in a car, Luck driving and him staring out the window. It wasn’t a particularly good picture, but it represented the way they were with each other. Carefree, easy going, spontaneous. They both looked like they were laughing. Kat had taken the picture from outside the car. Nate had no memory of it being taken.

“I don’t remember. It was blurry so I never sent it to you. I think it was years ago when I took it. You know I never delete pictures from my phone and just move them over each time I replace it.” She shrugged. “You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Nate handed her back her phone. “Okay, back to your party. I’m not gonna scare your kids if I’m in a toga, am I?” He asked, carefully forming a new smile on his face. It didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“No, they love ‘Hercules’ right now anyway. They’ve very into Disney movies. They’ll love it.” Kat pocketed her phone and gave him a knowing smile. “You should come trick or treating with us too! Quentin and Ella would just love it. They can’t get enough of their Uncle Nate anyway.”

“Okay… I’ll be Hades for the party.” Nate gave in. He didn’t have a better costume idea, and he did still have the old toga from college tucked away in the back of the closet.

“And trick or treating?” Kathleen pressed.

“Yeah, sure.” Nate shook his head and laughed lightly. “Anything else you want to talk me into today?”

“Not yet.”

***************

The sink was spraying water everywhere. Nate wasn’t sure how to get it to stop. He looked underneath, but he wasn’t even really sure what he was looking for. He pulled up a quick search on his phone, and the only thing that he could figure out was to shut off the water. Thankfully, the knobs underneath the sink looked the same as the ones in the video, so he turned them off quickly, before assessing the mess in the kitchen.

“I know it’s a holiday weekend, but I’m telling you, I can’t use my kitchen sink without water spraying everywhere. Isn’t there some kind of emergency maintenance for the building?”The woman on the other end of the line just offered her sympathy and told him there was a work order in for the repair and he should be hearing back in the next week or so.

This was not what Nate would normally be doing in this situation. If Luck couldn’t fix it, he’d know who to call or what to do. He’d have it handled quickly, no waiting or arguing with building maintenance.

“I guess we’re doing these dishes in the bathroom sink, Charlie.” Nate scratched Charlie’s head as he gathered up the mess of dishes that he’d made while baking pies to bring to Harmony for Thanksgiving.

***************

Nate was alone tonight, he didn’t even have Charlie with him. The apartment was too quiet, too still. He called out to the Alexa to turn on Spotify while he pulled out a bottle of moscato from the fridge, pouring a glass to sip on while he cooked dinner for himself. He was making chickpea curry, one of his favorites. He already knew that he was making way too much just for him, but that was okay. He’d have leftovers to bring to work for lunch. Maybe it would freeze decently? He’d never tried to freeze it before, but it was worth a shot. It would be an easy grab on a night when he didn’t have the desire or energy left when he got home to cook.

As he was gathering all the ingredients he needed from the pantry, the song changed on his playlist. He was using the AI DJ, and it declared that it was going to play some songs that were a ‘throwback’.

The opening to Savage Garden’s ‘I don’t know you anymore’ began, and Nate felt the breath leave him for a moment. Leaving the ingredients on the counter, Nate grabbed his glass and the bottle of wine, and made his way to the couch. He sank down into the soft cushions and blinked his eyes, letting the tears fall hot and fat down his cheeks.

***************

Quentin and Ella had spent the weekend with Nate, or Uncle Nate, as they called him. Kat and Jozef had taken a much needed quick trip by themselves. They’d been going through a rough patch lately, now that the kids were getting to be school age. Josef and Kat wanted different things when it came to raising their children and they needed to get on the same page. Nate hoped that the trip was helpful, that they would come back rested and refreshed. He certainly knew that they both loved each other and their kids.

“Uncle Nate, can I take Charlie for a walk?” Ella asked, already holding onto Charlie’s leash. “Sure, but we all have to go.” Nate answered her. There was no way he was letting her go alone, the dog was almost as big as she was. And he wasn’t going to leave Quentin alone in the apartment either.

“But I don’t want to go.” Quentin protested. “Quentin you never let me have any fun! You’re a meanie!“ Ella yelled at her brother.

“Okay, that’s enough, you two. How about this, Quentin, we need to take Charlie out anyway. If you are both good then I’ll make you my special macaroni and cheese for dinner.” Nate was not above bribery to make the kids get along with each other and do what needed to be done.

“Aren’t mom and dad coming back today?” Quentin asked. “Yes. I can make enough for everyone. I’m sure they would like not having to think about what to do for dinner tonight.”

“I want mac and cheese!” Ella giggled. “It’s my favorite”

“It can’t be your favorite. It’s my favorite.” Quentin argued. “It can be both of your favorites. And you two can help me make it.”

Nate shot a quick text to Kathleen and grabbed the keys to the apartment. “Why don’t we get this good pup down to the park and you two can also run around with him?”

”Okay!” Quentin agreed. “Yay! Ella jumped up and down, then fumbled with the leash until it was hooked onto Charlie’s collar. “Uncle Nate, you’re house is so fun.”

”It was more fun with Uncle Luck, though.” Quentin added. “You’re right, kiddo.” Nate sighed and opened the door, letting the kids and the dog file out past him.

[Ethan Rivers]

Standing on the cliff face, highest fall you'll ever grace

It scares me half to death. Look out to the future, but it tells you nothing. So take another breath

Oneshot for Ethan Rivers

SPOILER: Click to show

[attr="class","ETHANbody"]

“No, dad, I’m sorry. I just can’t make it back to San Diego for the holidays this year. I have too much going on with all of my cases right now, and I’m already going to be gone for a conference in the beginning of January. I’ve got to have everything tied by before I leave for New York.” Ethan tried to keep the irritation out of his tone. His father would not take no for an answer, as usual. He’d already explained to his mother why he wouldn’t be able to make it home for the holidays, though it was no surprise that it led to this phone call from his father.

“You missed Christmas last year too, Ethan. Your mom isn’t happy about it.” Alan leveraged Anna Maria’s emotions to try to appeal to his son. It was no big secret that she hated not having the family together, especially once Amelia ran away, but there wasn’t anything to be done about it. Ethan couldn’t make it, and they were just going to have to accept that.

“I’m sorry dad, but I’ve got to go. I have a client coming in soon and I’ve got to be prepared.” Ethan hung up the phone. It was a lie, he didn’t have a client coming in just now, but he didn’t want to continue to argue with his father on his birthday.

Before he could finish sending a message to the office receptionist, Melanie, not to send through calls from his father for the remainder of the day, there was a knock on his door. “Mr. Rivers, there is a woman here to see you. She doesn’t have an appointment, but she is very insistent that she speak with you.”

“That’s okay. You can send her in, I don’t have anything scheduled for the next little bit. Oh, and Mel? I was sending you a message, but I’ll just tell you instead. Please, if my father calls for me again today can you just tell him I’m busy in a meeting?” Ethan gave her a small grin. She knew as well as anyone how often his father called, demanding to speak to him or give him an urgent message. It wasn’t nearly as infrequent as he would like it to be. “Sure thing.” Melanie agreed, then opened the door back up. “Miss? Right in here.” She walked out the door and a slender blonde woman walked in.

Ethan was about to get out of his seat to greet the unexpected client, but he paused, dumbfounded. “Millie?” He finished standing up and crossed the room, surprise fading to concern as he looked at her. She had dark circles under her eyes and she looked like she was scared. “Millie, whatever it is, it’s okay. I’m here for you, okay? I’m glad you came here.” He wasn’t sure what it was that had his little sister so frightened, but after eight years he was relieved to see her standing in his office at all. He just hoped that she wasn’t going to disappear again.

“Ethan, I need help.” She spoke quietly, but moved to wrap her arms around him in a hug when he was close enough to her. “I messed up. I think dad or Ollie might have found me. I don’t know if they hired a P.I. or what, but I’m pretty sure it was them.”

“I’m sorry Millie, but what was them?” Ethan questioned, returning his sister’s hug then taking a small step back. “Honestly, dad did hire a P.I., when you first left, but there was no trace of you. I thought he’d stopped all of that years back.” Ethan sighed. “But this is also dad that we’re discussing, so who knows. Are you okay? We’ve all missed you. I’ve missed you and been worried about you.”

Amelia took in a deep breath, an apparent calming technique, and then she crossed the space to sit in one of the chairs at Ethan’s desk. Ethan followed suit, and sat back down in his usual seat as well. “Can I trust you, Ethan? You never seemed like you were following dad, but.. Has that changed?”

Ethan weighed what she was asking carefully. He hadn't followed their father in everything, but he had become a lawyer. He did take cases his father tossed his way. But no, he wasn’t like him. He could be trusted, and he wouldn’t betray his sister. But what did that really mean? What kind of trouble had she gotten herself into?

********************************

Beep beep beep.

Ethan groaned, and so did the girl who was next to him. Tina? Trina? He couldn’t remember her name, but she was cute. “Make it stop.” She whined, snuggling closer to Ethan and closing her eyes again. Ethan reached out and turned the alarm off. He glanced at the display on his phone - 26 new notifications. He was sure they were full of people on Facebook that he never talked to anymore or old friends he’d lost touch with. Happy birthday wishes from people he only heard from one a year, when the social media platform told them he was turning another year older.

“I was having the strangest dream.” He sighed and wrapped his arm around Tammy. Or was it Tabitha? He was pretty sure it started with a T. He only got a tired grunt in response, so he closed his own eyes again, hoping to get a few minutes more sleep before he had to get up to face the day.

[newclass=.ETHANbody b]color: #4F8F8A; [/newclass]

[Nathaniel Collins]

And all the lights that lead us there are blinding

There are many things that I would like to say to you, but I don't know how

Oneshot for Nathaniel Collins -- reaction to the voicemails from Luck Harris

SPOILER: Click to show

January 13th, 2024 05:48 AM

Someone slammed a door in the building, and Nate’s eyes snapped open. Maybe it wasn’t quite a slam, but a door definitely had shut heavily. He rolled over and glanced at his phone for the time knowing that it was far too early to be awake. He still wasn’t completely used to the new apartment, and most sounds were still waking him. When his screen lit up, he saw the notifications.

05:48
Sat, January 13
4 MISSED CALLS
4 NEW VOICE MESSAGES

Nate used his thumbprint to unlock his phone and his heart started to race when he checked the call log. He’d accidentally left his phone on silent, so the ringer didn’t wake him up. His first was that something was wrong.

Before letting himself get too worked up, he pressed play on the first message, and his worry eased into mild amusement. It was a drunk dial. Honestly, Nate was surprised that it had taken this long for one of them to fall victim to the temptation. He’d thought about calling Luck in the middle of the night even when he was completely sober

A few minutes later, Nate had listened to all four messages. He sat on the edge of his bed, staring at the phone screen and processing all what he’d just listened to. He’d gone through the gambit of emotions. Amusement, nostalgia, regret, annoyance, and back to amused. More than anything, he longed to call Luck back, but it was hours later. Hopefully, Luck was safely sleeping off what had clearly been a night of heavy drinking.

Instead, he started typing out a text message in response.

Hey babe

No, he couldn’t say that. He deleted the message and started over.

I got your messages. It was a long week and I actually went to bed early. Forgot to put my ringer back on after a meeting so I didn’t know you called.

No, that wasn’t right either.

I just got your messages, my phone was on silent and I was asleep already.

He hit the send button, then had an immediate feeling of regret. He needed to say more, to address some of what Luck had confessed to in the messages. The tickets had been too much. He shouldn’t have dumped them on him at Christmas, he shouldn’t have assumed Luck would still want to go on a trip that they’d been talking about doing together. But how was he supposed to address that? The struggle for the phone with Tawny — Nate could just picture it in his mind and that made him chuckle when he first listened to it — had cut off the rest of what he was saying.

About the tickets.. I shouldn’t have sprung them on you like that. It was too much. I just.. I

Nate deleted the text again. It wasn’t right. Nothing felt right.

The tickets were too much. I’m sorry, I should have realized. But they were always meant for you, and I didn’t know what else to do with them.

He didn’t address the fact that Luck had started to say that he wanted him to go. He couldn’t go there right now, couldn’t think about it. If that’s really what Luck wanted, they could have that conversation and figure something out.

Also, you can always call.

Nate took in a breath and let it out slowly, then typed one more message.

I hope you have plenty of water and aspirin handy.

Delete. Too patronizing.

Hope you aren’t feeling too rough today.

What he really wanted to send that he didn’t even type out was an ‘I miss you too’, but that would really be too much.

[Nathaniel Collins]

[nospaces]

[attr="class","NATEsimple_lyrics"]When you're staring at the cracks[break]
Hard to notice what is passing by with eyes lowered[break]

[break][break]

Oneshot for Nathaniel Collins [break]

-- Mid workday coffee break with Kat --

[break]

SPOILER: Click to show

[attr="class","NATEsimple"]

Swipe left, swipe right, what difference did it make? It felt so superficial, judging someone based on the words they wrote about themselves and the pictures that they chose to showcase. Setting up his own profile felt torturous enough. What was he supposed to say about himself? [break][break]

He wouldn’t have even bothered with any of it if it hadn't been for Kat’s insistence that he put himself out there. She had told him that she was worried about him withdrawing and refusing to move on, she even threatened to set up a profile for him if he didn’t do it himself. He knew that she would follow through with the threat, so he gave in and had her help him with filling out a profile and picking out what pictures to use. [break][break]

Nate knew the reasons why he was so hesitant when Kat brought up dating again. The first reason was because putting himself back out there meant that things with Luck were truly over, it was like giving up any small thread of hope that they could eventually work things out. Not that he really thought they would or could now, but he still couldn’t help the desire to hold out hope for it. [break][break]

The other big reason, the harder one to face, was that moving on meant that he had to let go of the guilt and the shame that he’d been holding onto, the emotions that he was clinging to even though it hurt. He’d messed up, betrayed a decade of trust and love and caring. There was no excuse that could make it okay. It was hard to reconcile his actions with the person that he always thought he was. [break][break]

Now he was flipping through profiles on his lunch break — sat in a coffee shop downtown after a morning full of interviews and home checks — scrolling through profiles, swiping left on each of them. He found something to nitpick, or some reason why they wouldn’t be a good fit. [break][break]

“Oh, she’s hot! Why did you swipe left?” Kat smiled softly when she walked up behind Nate. She moved around the table and dropped the strap of her bag on the back of the chair across from him before plopping herself down in the seat. “Or are you still just swiping left on everyone?” Kat reached over and picked off a piece of the chocolate chip cookie that was on a plate on the table. “You gotta stop that.” [break][break]

Nate sighed and put his phone down. “I don’t know if I’m ready for all this yet.” He admitted, feeling overwhelmed at the prospect of re-entering the dating world. “You can have the cookie, by the way. I got it but then didn’t really want it.” [break][break]

Kat rolled her eyes, but she did pull the cookie closer to her. “Nate, you’ve got to stop this pity party. You can’t keep punishing yourself for your mistake. Sure, you did a shitty thing, but it wasn’t the only reason your relationship fell apart.” Kat picked off another piece of the cookie and popped it into her mouth. She picked up his phone and keyed in his PIN — zero, four, two, three — so she could look at his dating app. “Damn, why is everyone so hot these days?” Kat turned the phone to show a profile of a guy standing in front of a gym mirror, then she turned the phone back around. “Is that all that is holding you up?“ [break][break]

Before he could answer her, Nate watched Kat swipe right on the profile. “Kat!” He shook his head. “Gym selfie guy, really?” He shook his head and blew out a slow breath. “I don’t know. It just, well, it feels wrong. It feels like moving on is giving up. Even though it’s over, I don’t know. I sound pathetic, right?” [break][break]

“Isn’t there a saying? The best way to get over-” [break][break]

“I hate you right now.” He reached across the table and took his phone back, closing out of the dating app before she could swipe right on anyone else. [break][break]

“You know you don’t hate me.” She sat back in her chair and gave a broad smile. “So, I have something I need to ask you.” [break][break]

“Why do I get the feeling I’m not gonna like this?” He was always wary when Kat tried to bury the lead. It usually meant she thought he’d be uncomfortable or disagreeable, or that she was asking too much of someone. If she needed help she hated asking for it. [break][break]

“You know Q’s birthday is coming up soon. He wants to go on a fishing trip, which is great. We already have a couple cabins booked for it the weekend of his birthday, and we’re gonna have a party that Saturday afternoon.” Kat took another bite of the cookie before she continued. “But he wants both his Uncle Nate and his Uncle Luck to be there. Apparently for the whole weekend and not just the day of the party. Obviously I’m dragging you with us. How awkward would it be if I invited Luck too? Do you think he’d even come?” [break][break]

This was inevitable. Quentin had never known Nate or Luck separately, and he was quite attached to Luck. Of course he should also be invited to his birthday. “It won’t be too awkward. Maybe a little awkward, but if Quentin wants us both to be at his birthday he should have that.” Nate gave a small shrug. “I’m sure if he doesn’t have plans he’ll at least consider it. You’d have to check with him. If we’re both going, it means bringing Charlie too.” [break][break]

“Great, I’ll send him a message inviting him then. And of course you’re bringing Charlie. The kids love him.” Her smile was easier now, clearly there had been some anxiety that was lifted once she got out her question. “Okay, now can I please say one more thing?” [break][break]

“What now?” Nate smirked, wondering what else Kat was about to hit him with. [break][break]

“You have got to change the PIN on your phone. It’s still his birthday. I mean, really, it’s time to update that.” [break][break]

Nate sighed. He hadn't even considered it, he was so used to using the number as a PIN for everything. What should he use instead? What would he even remember? He wasn’t ready to make that change, not yet. “Maybe I should change it, just so you can’t get on there anymore.” He teased her and glanced at his watch. “Oh crap, I’ve gotta run. I’ve got a home check to get to.” [break]

[newclass=.NATEsimple]text-align: justify; color: #5f5f5f; font-size: 14px; padding: 10px;[/newclass]
[newclass=.NATEsimple b]color:#3183AD;[/newclass]
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[newclass=.NATEsimple_lyrics b]font-size: 22px; color: #3183AD; [/newclass]

[Maddison Lancaster]

You're part of a machine, you are not a human being

With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self-esteem, so you run on gasoline.

-- Oneshot for Maddison Lancaster --

Drunken Maddie calls Tomas to come pick her up, and they end up having a serious conversation.

SPOILER: Click to show

[attr="class","MADSoneshot"]
Maddie and Tina had been living it up all night, and they were both pretty tipsy. It was getting close to last call already, and Tina ordered them another round of shots - Irish whiskey, of course, to go along with the theme of the night. St. Patrick’s Day was a Sunday this year, but that hadn't stopped either of them from celebrating.

“Okay, I think Eric is here already.” She glanced at her phone and giggled. “Oh wait, I think he’s been here a few minutes already. He just sent me another text.” Tina slid off her barstool and pulled on her green sweater. She grabbed her phone and looked at Maddie. “You want a ride home? I’m sure he wouldn’t mind.”

“Nah, I’m fine. It’s not all that far of a walk home and the fresh air could do me some good anyway.” Maddie refused, shaking her head and instantly regretting the motion. “Say hey to Eric for me though, it’s been a minute.”

“Sure thing babe.” Tina hugged Maddie. “Text me when you get home alright.” Tina smiled and walked toward the exit. Maddie could see Eric outside, leaning against his sedan waiting for her. He held the door open when she approached, and shut it for her when she was safely tucked inside.

It wasn’t often that she found herself jealous of Tina and Eric, but on nights like tonight she wished that she could keep her shit together enough to have something so stable in her life. She could have had that, if she hadn't blown it up.

“You want anything else before I close you out for the night, darlin?” The bartender was a friendly woman, about Maddie’s age. “One more shot of whiskey please, and then I’ll get out of your hair.” Maddie smiled back at the bartender and handed over her debit card as she ordered the last shot for the night.

---------

It wasn’t long before the cool March air began to feel a bit too cool. Maddie pulled her jacket over her arms, but nearly lost her balance as she did so. She caught herself on a bench she’d been passing and decided to sit down for a minute.

Maybe that last shot of whiskey had been a mistake.

It felt like home was so far away now. She thought about calling Tina and asking if Eric would still be up to come back and give her a lift home, but she didn’t want to bother them. They were probably just getting to their own place by now and he’d be helping Tina inside. Now that she’d been in the car, she was probably feeling motion sick. She got that way after drinking too much, and Maddie would hear all about how awful it was the night shift they worked together.

Instead, she pulled out her phone and started scrolling through her contact list, specifically the recently called log. Her vision was a little blurred but she was still able to make out the familiar names. Mason, Tina, Tina, Mike, Work, Sean, Tina, Eric, Mason, Mason, Tomas… She paused scrolling and tapped on his contact, finger hovered above the call button.

Maddie knew that she shouldn’t call him. She was drunk, and he would probably be mad at her. But she also knew that he’d still answer. He’d very likely come get her, even if he was mad about it. Without further thought, Maddie pressed the call button and put the phone to her ear, listening to only one ring before the line connected.

“Maddie?” Tomas answered, voice sounding more concerned than irritated or tired.

“Yeah. Um, I didn’t wake you up, did I?” Maddie let out a small giggle, thinking about the possibility of him already being in bed. He didn’t sleep much, she knew that. Insomnia and anxiety kept him up most nights. But if he’d actually been sleeping, she would feel some guilt for waking him. She pulled the phone from her ear to try to look at the time, but the display looked too blurry and she put it back to her ear. It couldn’t be two yet, she’d left the bar before it had closed down for the night.

“No, you didn’t wake me.” He answered, now sounding a bit more annoyed with her. “Are you alright? You sound wasted.” He wasn’t one to sugarcoat what he was thinking, and Maddie wasn’t sure if he was judging her or just making an observation.

“Well, that’s cause I am. I may have celebrated St Patrick’s Day a little too hard with Tina.” Maddie giggled again, nervous now that he was going to tell her no, that he wasn’t going to come help her home this time. “I thought I could walk home, so she left with Eric. But now, um, the sidewalk feels like it’s moving and the world is spinning just a little too fast.”

There was a long sigh, and then a few seconds of dead air before Tomas said anything else. “Where are you?”

---------

Maddie wasn’t sure how long it had been since they hung up the phone. Tomas pulled up slowly, then rolled down the passenger window to call out to her. “You aren’t going to puke in my car, are you?”

“I’m not that trashed.” Maddie got up from the bench and plopped down into the passenger seat of his car. “Besides, I already know the rules. If I mess up your car, I have to clean it.” That had been established years back, when Maddie was only twenty-one and she’d gotten sick in his car after a night of the two of them and Mason partying. She’d spent the whole next day detailing the interior to get out the mess and the smell. She had no desire to relive that experience.

“I’ll tell you if I need you to pull over.” She promised.

“Deal.” Tomas pulled away from the curb. He’d come up the wrong direction, so he was circling the block to turn around and bring her home.

“So, what had you awake so late?” Maddie asked, settling back in the seat.

“Just the usual.” Tomas shrugged. “Lucky for you though, considering it’s Sunday night and I work in the morning.” He glanced at Maddie, then refocused on the road. “Why did you call me, Mads?”

“The same reason you picked up.” She shrugged. “I knew you’d pick up..” She added on in a softer tone.

“This has to stop. We can’t keep going down this path.” Tomas sighed again. They’d had this conversation before, and they would likely have it again. It was their cycle, and they both knew that he would answer his phone every time she called, no matter how late it was.

“But you make me feel safe.” Maddie pulled her legs up onto the seat and wrapped her arms around them, laying her head on top of her knees. “No one else makes me feel that way. No one else knows me like you do.”

“Really?” Tomas shook his head in clear frustration. “I can’t keep up with this anymore. Five months ago you said I scare you and you don’t want to see me anymore. But ever since then, whenever you’re lonely or too trashed to get home safely, you call me. You expect me to drop everything and save you. But you won’t do a damned thing to save yourself, Maddison. What am I supposed to do with that?”

She knew that he had a right to be fed up with her. She was all back and forth with him. One minute she didn’t want them to be together anymore, and the next she was missing how he made her feel, how much she liked herself more when he was around because he loved her, he told her how much she was worth to him. She was worth more in his eyes than she was in her own. “I’m sorry. It’s just, when you’re angry or jealous.. It does scare me. And I know it’s my fault, I know I bring out the worst in you when we’re together.” She trailed off and turned to look at the window as they slowly passed by all the buildings that she knew by heart, the places she’d lived in or near growing up. Never far outside of these few blocks.

“You know who I am, and I know who you are. We aren’t meant for each other, but I can’t help wishing we were.”

“I can’t keep doing this push and pull, Mads. I’m sorry, I just can’t do it.” Tomas pulled the car over outside of her building, but neither of them moved from their seats. “I’ll always love you, Maddison. But maybe it’s time to let this go. Just be friends again.”

Maddie knew that he was right. She had to stop. She had to let him go so they could both move on. “Okay.” She nodded in agreement, speaking in a quiet tone. “I’m sorry. You’re right. I won’t call again.” She grabbed her bag from the floor board and opened the door, getting out with a small stumble.

“That’s not what I- Maddie, I’ll always be around if you need me. But as a friend.” Tomas watched her move, clearly off kilter. “Are you going to make it up to your apartment alright on your own? I could help you upstairs.”

Maddie shook her head. “I’ll be fine. It’s not the first time I’ve come home drunk, Tomas. I can manage on my own. I can do anything on my own.” She gave a determined smile. “You know that.”

“Okay. If you’re sure.” Tomas sounded doubtful, but they both knew that she was stubborn.

“I’ve got it. I’ll be fine.” Maddie shut the door and turned toward her apartment, determined that she was going to make it up the several flights of stairs to her apartment without his help. She knew if he did help her up the stairs, she’d beg him to stay with her, not to leave her alone tonight. Not so close to her birthday. He’d feel guilty and stay with her, she would make him feel guilty. But he was right, she had to stop using him when she was feeling bad about herself. She had to let him move on.

She needed to figure out how to move on. Or, at the very least, she had to decide just what it was she wanted from her life. All she really knew was that it wasn’t belonging to him, or anyone else.

[newclass=.MADSoneshot b]color: #702963;[/newclass]
[newclass=.MADSoneshot i]color: #00cc99;font-weight:bold;[/newclass]
[newclass=.MADSoneshot span]color: #800000;font-weight:bold;[/newclass]

[Bridget Lacey]

[nospaces]

[attr="class","BRIDGsimple_lyrics"]Tremble for yourself, my man[break]
You know that you have seen this all before

[break][break]
-- Oneshot for Bridget Lacey --[break][break]

Content Warnings:[break]
domestic/gun violence - murder/suicide - religious undertones/extreme beliefs - language

[break][break]

SPOILER: Click to show

[break]

[attr="class","BRIDGsimple"]

The incident started just like any other. She’d been coming back to the office after spending the morning training with LEPD, but before she could get settled at her desk they were calling her again, asking her to come to the scene and assist with a hostage situation. They’d gotten a 911 call from the neighbor about a family disturbance, and when they arrived on scene the teenage suspect had barricaded the entrance and was holding his mother hostage inside. [break][break]

It turned out the young man was Gifted, he was a medium and could see the dead. His mother was terrified of him, she was trying to ‘cure’ him. She was religious and thought his gift was some kind of demonic possession. [break][break]

With more effort than she had left in her now, Bridget had pushed back the desire to blame his mother for this. It struck a deep nerve in her, one that she wasn’t ready to talk about, she wasn’t ready to have analyzed. [break][break]

This was the kind of scene that the Sector would normally take over. Once she discovered the suspect was Gifted, Bridget had one of the officers she’d worked with in the past notify them, request an additional response. In the meantime, she had to do her job, she had to try to talk him down and diffuse the situation. [break][break]

Bridget tried everything to reason with the teenager. She told him nothing was wrong with him, that there were others like him, but it was too late. His mother had gotten in his head, he thought he was cursed. Bridget tried to push her way into his head, so she could communicate with him and show him that she was like him, she could do something ‘weird’ too. [break][break]

It was harder to work her way into his thoughts from outside the open window, the only way he would talk to her. When she finally broke through, being met with the thoughts about the gun he was holding — the one she hadn't seen or known was there — made Bridget drop the connection. All she got out was a “don’t” before he pulled the trigger and shot his mother. Everything after that was a blur. A couple officers rushed up, and the whole thing ended with the young man taking his own life. [break][break]

Two dead, because Bridget had failed to connect with him in time. [break][break]

She’d failed to save them. [break][break]

The whole thing went down so fast. Too fast. Maybe if there had been more time, they could have gotten someone else out there, someone with different skills. Maybe if the Sector had been in control of the scene, it would have been different. Maybe someone who had more useful skills for this particular kind of situation. [break][break]

Another Sector agent arrived shortly after shots had been fired, but declared this was not their incident and promptly left the scene. Since nothing pointed, publicly, to Gifted involvement, it would be LEPD's mess to clean up. It was really just an escalated family disturbance. If it even made the evening news, the headline would read ‘mentally ill teen commits murder-suicide’. There would be nothing about him being Gifted. Nothing about his mother not accepting him, making him feel like he was wrong and evil and needed to be fixed somehow. [break][break]

“No… No, no no. Fuck...” [break][break]

Her hand was clammy and shaking as she touched fingers the bottom of her nose, wiping away the line of blood that had dripped down. Her vision was blurry and her ears felt full. There was a pounding pressure behind her eyes, and she felt as if the entire world was tilting. Her stomach threatened to empty its contents soon, and her entire body was beginning to feel cold, almost numb. [break][break]

Bridget made her way back to her car and pulled a couple leftover fast food napkins out of the glove box and used a bit of water from the bottle that was in her cup holder to wet them, so she could clean the blood from under her nose. She also rooted around for the bottle of aspirin she kept buried underneath insurance papers and the vehicle manual that she’d never opened, but thought she should probably keep in the car. She popped the bottle and took three pills instead of the recommended two. [break][break]

Since this wasn’t technically a Sector involved incident, that meant no time to decompress. No mandated time off. No required talking to someone about it. To the agency, this was just an unfortunate end to an incident that the city had handled. The day was going to move on, business as usual. [break][break]

If there was ever a time she wanted her unreliable car to break down, today would have been that day. Of course, she made it back to the office without any engine malfunctions. She made her way to her desk, polite smiles at anyone who spoke to her on the way but not really noticing much, not hearing them. She was too stuck in her own head, thinking back to when someone thought that she was wrong, that she needed to be fixed. [break][break]

Her hands were clammy again as she pulled the top file from the stack that was piled on her desk, the cases that she still had to finish reports for. This was as good a time as any to work through the backlog. Maybe if she looked busy enough, no one would bother her for the rest of the day. She could put all of this out of her mind with the monotony of data entry. [break][break]

---------

[break][break]

[[Atlanta, a little more than two years ago]][break][break]

“Bridge, come on. This is the only way we can move forward together.” Jordan moved a step closer, causing Bridget to take another step backwards, her back brushing up against the cold drywall. “I want us to be together. We are amazing together. Don’t you think so?” [break][break]

“Stop. Just stop it, please?” Bridget shook her head. She wasn’t sure how she’d missed it all these months they’d been together, how she hadn't realized Jordan even knew about Gifted, let alone thought they were all abominations. Jordan must have found a way to hide it, to keep those specific thoughts hidden from her at the times when she couldn’t or just didn’t block them out. [break][break]

Jordan smirked but didn’t take a step away, didn’t make any effort to make Bridget more comfortable or hide the disdain and hatred for Gifted from her. “I’d really hoped that you would be willing to see reason here, Bridge. You should let me help you. If you’re human then this can work, we can be together forever. Helping others like you become human, too.” Jordan’s hands rested on Bridget’s shoulders, with very little space left between the two of them. “You wouldn’t ever have to worry about being hunted again. You could help others become safe with you. We could turn you into humans instead of freaks.” [break][break]

“No, Jordan. I am human. We’re all-” Bridget paused and tried to collect her own thoughts. With Jordan’s hands on her it was hard, Jordan’s thoughts were so loud they were bleeding into her head, making her feel disgusted, dirty, and dizzy. “But what you’re talking about…” She took in a shaky breath and let it out slowly. “Give me the night to think about it?” She tried to keep her voice steady, trying to hide how much she was actually panicking inside, afraid that Jordan may not give her the night, might just decide that she has to make the choice right now. Lose her gifts or become a hunting target, Jordan’s target… [break][break]

“You’ll see, Bridge. You don’t know how wrong you were born. I can help you fix that. I know someone who can take it all away, erase the problem like it was never even there. You aren’t supposed to be this way.” Jordan’s hands were still on Bridget, and she felt like she was going to vomit any second. With how vile the spoken words were, the thoughts Jordan was having were even worse. [break][break]

Sinners. Abominations. Lesser than. Inhuman. Jordan thought that all Gifted should be cured, fixed, and if not then killed. A complete eradication of Gifted in Atlanta, and everywhere else, in time. [break][break]

---------

[break][break]

Bridget woke up with her heart racing. She picked up her phone, the time read 04:18. She was shaking too violently to unlock her phone with her fingerprint or the PIN, so she dropped back down on the bedside table. She slid down onto the plush carpeted floor, leaning her back against the side of her bed and letting out a deep breath. It had been a while since she’d had a dream about Atlanta, about Jordan. [break][break]

It was no surprise after yesterday’s events that Bridget had a nightmare about it again tonight though, even after so long without thinking about Atlanta. After a couple minutes of deep breathing, slowing and methodically pushing each breath out, Bridget was feeling more centered, a little calmer than she had been when she woke up in a cold panic. [break][break]

Once she wasn’t shaking anymore, Bridget picked her phone up again and got it to unlock this time. She thought about calling someone, but the only people she could think of who would be awake were her family back in Alabama. She didn’t want to deal with explaining anything to them or answering questions, so she decided firmly against it. [break][break]

“It’s fine. You’re fine. It’s just a bad memory. You are safe here and Jordan doesn’t know where you live.” She spoke the words in an attempt to convince herself they were true. After taking in and letting out one more deep breath, she pushed off the bedroom floor. Glancing at her bed, she debated trying to go back to sleep, though she knew that was unlikely to happen. Instead she pulled on a hoodie, grabbed her phone, and slipped into a pair of sneakers. She decided it was a good morning to go for a run to clear her head. She could blast music in her headphones and push out all the anxiety and bad thoughts, and she could strive to make today a much better day than yesterday. [break][break]

If that didn’t work, maybe she’d pester Tawny for a recommendation for a decent shrink during her lunch break. Though, that might also invite questions that she didn’t want to answer at the moment. [break]

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[googlefont=Norican]

[Mason Lancaster]

[nospaces]

[attr="class","MASONsimple_lyrics"]You cutting like glass, like needles, like knives[break]
You wanna get the girl, you wanna win the fight. You wanna be a God, you wanna be a star. You wanna be another and this time you went to far

[break]

[break][break]

Oneshot for Mason Lancaster[break]
-- snippets over the last decade or so --[break][break]

Content Warnings:[break]
mentions of death/funeral - substance/alcohol abuse - family drama [break][break]

NOTE: I've been writing snippets/starters for oneshots for Mason for MONTHS, and finally just decided decided to throw them all together. I might add some more to this later, IDK yet. Just wanted to get it posted so I could stop obsessing over them. YOLO

[break]

SPOILER: Click to show

[break]

[attr="class","MASONsimple"]

Past:

[break][break]

The barren walls of the apartment were familiar. Mason walked around, and felt an overwhelming sense of deja vu wash over him. He had lived here before. He'd walked through these rooms, picking up broken glass from the beer bottles that his father had thrown, each one missing the intended target - him. There was still a dent in the wall, where he could remember the bottle smashing before the shards rained down to the linoleum floor. [break][break]

"You okay, man?" His new roommate, Freddy, walked in behind him and dropped a duffle bag in the middle of the empty living room. [break][break]

"Yeah, sorry. Believe it or not, I've lived in this exact apartment before." Mason hadn't realized it until they were standing there, inside the apartment. He'd lived in so many apartments in East End, many of them only two bedrooms where he had to share a room with his sister or one of them had to sleep on the couch.[break][break]

"Oh, that's crazy." Freddy smiled and let out a small laugh. "So, which room do you want then?" [break][break]

"I'll take that one" Mason pointed to the smaller of the two rooms. "it has a door out to the fire escape, but it's the smaller of the two rooms and it has a smaller closet." [break][break]

"Fine by me." Freddy picked the bag back up and made his way to the slightly larger room. The room where Mason used to carry his mother to bed after she passed out on the couch. The room he heard yelling and crying from on countless nights. He had no desire to take the larger of the two rooms. [break][break]

---

---

[break]

Mason couldn't believe that he was going on this date. He'd let a couple of the guys at work convince him that he should meet this girl they knew, Camila. Apparently they were supposed to be a 'perfect match', whatever that meant. Mason didn't really believe that he had the kind of free time that it took to keep up with a relationship, he hadn't been great at at previous attempts. [break][break]

"Mason?" A gentle voice asked, and Mason stood up from the table he'd been waiting at. "Yeah. You must be Camila?" [break][break]

"Everyone just calls me Cami." She smiled and took the seat across from where he'd been sitting. "Did your friend pester you as much as mine did about this?" She laughed quietly. "Apparently our friends are very convinced that we're perfect for each other or something. So, you know, no pressure at all." [break][break]

Mason couldn't take his eyes from her as he sat back down. She was certainly attractive, but more than that, she had the kind of confidence that he'd never really seen anyone have before. She didn't seem arrogant, but she was already acting comfortable, like they were old friends and not meeting for the first time. At least, that's the impression she gave off. [break][break]

"Yeah, they did." He smiled and shook his head. "I'm pretty sure they think I'm hopeless without their help. And they might be right." [break][break]

"Oh, I bet it's not all that bad." Her smile spread, and she picked up a menu from the table. [break][break]

~~~~~

[break]

It wasn't long after they started talking over their meal that Mason realized this woman was different. She didn't care that he was awkward, and it didn't seem like she was they type to hold back what she was thinking. Mason was already thinking about the possibility of a second date with her. [break][break]

---

---

[break]

Voicemail. Again. Mason had tried to call Maddie several times already, and she wasn't picking up. Mason sighed and dropped his phone down on the table in front of him. The hospital waiting room was mostly empty this time of night, with only the most severe patients still coming in. Mason knew from work that the majority of people coming in at this time would be coming through the ambulance bay. [break][break]

"She's probably busy or sleeping. Do you want me to go to her apartment?" Cami rubbed Mason's back lightly, trying to soothe the anxiety that she could see building up in him. She recognized the signs, and knew that he was getting himself worked up over things that he couldn't control. [break][break]

"It's almost two in the morning. How the hell can she be ignoring my calls?" Mason glared at the dark phone screen in front of him. [break][break]

"Mase, come on. None of us expected this. She didn't know that she'd be getting calls from you tonight. Cut her some slack." It wasn't a secret that Cami and Maddie didn't get along very well, so for Cami to be sticking up for his sister, Mason knew that what he was feeling was unreasonable. [break][break]

"Okay, you're right. I just don't know what else to do right now to get a hold of her." He sat back in the hard plastic chair, letting out a long sigh and running his hand through his hair. "I guess it's fine. It's not like she's talked to him in the last few years anyway. But I at least wanted to give her the chance to say goodbye, if she wants." [break][break]

Cami reached over and took Mason's hand into her own. "From what you said, it might not be a good idea for her to be here right now." As much as he knew that Cami was right, Mason wanted his sister to be there. He wanted Maddie there more than he wanted Cami at the moment, as nice as it was to have Cami by his side. It just wasn't the same. She hadn't been through all the hard years growing up with Elijah, dealing with his temper and his moods. Even if she wouldn't be there for their parents, at least she could be there for him. [break][break]

"You're right." Mason sighed and leaned against Cami's shoulder. "It's probably better off." He still kept his phone face up, hoping to see his sister on the caller ID. Or at the very least, a text from her. [break][break]

---

---

[break]

Elijah's funeral was a week ago. Mason was still mad at his sister for missing it, for leaving him to deal with their mother all on his own. If it had been the other way around, he would have been there. To support her, if for no other reason. But she couldn't be bothered to do the same for him. [break][break]

Mason swung at the heavy punching bag in front of him. He'd been at the gym for a couple hours, but he was still angry, he still felt the rage pulsing through him. Each swing was meant to lessen that anger, to help him calm down, but it wasn't working tonight. [break][break]

He could try to deny it, but as much as he was directing his anger towards his sister, some of it was misplaced. Of course he had every right to be mad at her for how she'd been acting, but could he really blame her? He'd known how hard it was to live with Elijah, he knew it probably got worse for her when he was gone. She didn't talk much about those days with him, and there had to be a reason. So it wasn't just her that Mason was mad at now, but how do you stay mad with a corpse in the ground? [break][break]

There was no point in being angry with the dead. [break][break]

Mason pulled his phone out of the pocket and turned up the volume on the music in his headphones, then went back to hitting the punching bag. Over and over, faster and faster, until his knuckles were red and raw. It would have to be enough. For now. [break][break]

---

---

[break]

It was lonelier than Mason would have expected without Cami around. He couldn't get her off his mind no matter how much he tried to distract himself today, because it was her birthday. Something he probably wouldn't have remembered if they were still together. He'd forgotten last year. [break][break]

Hey, I hope you're having a good birthday. He sent the text before he could talk himself out of it. Before he could reason that it wasn't a good idea, that she'd probably be upset over hearing from him on her birthday now, when he hadn't remembered while they were together. [break][break]

But maybe she'd be happy. Maybe she would see that she'd had some impact on him, made him better in some ways. [break][break]

There were a lot of recent changes that Mason had made that were thanks to Cami. All of them happened after she left him, after she threw the book at his head that she probably though he'd never really read. [break][break]

Too bad it was too late and still wouldn't be enough. [break][break]

---

---

[break]

Recent:

[break][break]

The lobby at the rehab had about half a dozen people sitting, scattered around at different tables, waiting for their loved ones. Mason was alone at one of the tables, waiting on Miranda to join him for a family visit. This was the only the third weekly visit, and she was supposed to be there for nine more weeks still. Mason wasn't sure she if she would stay for the whole treatment, but he was hopeful this time. [break][break]

"Hey, mom." Mason smiled when he saw her walking over. "How's this week been?" [break][break]

"It's been good." Miranda hugged her son then sat down at the table, glancing quickly around the room as she did so. [break][break]

Mason knew that she was looking for Maddie, but he didn't want to tell Maddie about putting their mom in a facility again. The last time, Maddie had argued with him and said he was wasting his money, that their mother would never be able to stay sober. He didn't want to have the same argument with her all over again. [break][break]

---

---

[break]

Max whined and came trotting into the living room when he heard Mason moving around inside the house. "You're the best boy, Max. Yes you are." Mason cooed to his dog and scratched the top of his head, right between the ears. He felt bad that Max was spending so much time alone, but there wasn't much else for it. It's not like he could ask Maddie to watch him without answering questions. [break][break]

Things had been rough enough between him and his sister lately anyway. Maddie was pulling away, trying to keep more secrets from him now that she and Tomas hadn't worked out. He knew from the beginning that it was a bad idea, they were both too messed up and too stubborn to be good for each other. Just as he predicted, they were volatile together from the jump. Blow out arguments. Yelling, crying, he was sure their fights had even gotten physical but he didn't ask about that. He didn't want to know who hit who or what led up to it. [break][break]

He wanted to stay out of all of it. But that wasn't really an option for him. When his best friend and little sister were at odds, he was stuck in the middle. Even if they were trying to leave him out of it. He knew when they were on good terms and when they were on bad terms, it wasn't hard to figure out. [break][break]

Today, he was hoping that they were still on good terms. He was supposed to meet up with them both for lunch. Maddie got to pick the place since her birthday had just passed. Mason felt guilty because he was supposed to be off on her birthday, but that shift's staff had been hit with the stomach flu (or, just as likely, someone misjudging their own cooking ability and giving them all food poisoning). He'd been called in to cover the slack, and had to bail on dinner with her. At least he had remembered to text her and tell her he had to cancel. He'd learned — thanks completely to Cami — that communicating when he wasn't able to make his plans was important and couldn't be forgotten about until after the fact. [break][break]

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[Nathaniel Collins]

[nospaces]

[attr="class","NATEsimple_lyrics"]Nobody said that it would last forever[break]
That doesn't mean we didn't try to get there

[break]

Oneshot for Nathaniel Collins[break][break]

Nate reacts to the box that Luck left outside his apartment and reflects on Luck’s birthday. Accompanying text thread.[break][break]

SPOILER: Click to show

[break]

[attr="class","NATEsimple"]

When his alarm sounded, Nate rolled over and pressed the screen of his phone to silence it. He’d already been away for a bit, laying there and over analyzing every thought he’d had about the day, about the fact that it was the first time they were going to be apart for either of their birthdays. It felt weird and wrong. [break][break]

It’s just another Tuesday. You can get through this day. Just a Tuesday. [break][break]

He shoved himself up off the bed and ambled his way past the couch, flipping on the kitchen light as he moved through the small apartment toward the bathroom. When the light filled the space, his gaze fell to the box on his table. He hadn't been able to convince himself to look through the contents, though he knew that he wouldn’t get rid of a single item in that box. The memories were there, with or without the pictures and small reminders of the life they’d shared together. He knew that he would someday regret anything that he discarded, and honestly he didn’t have the desire to part with any of it anyway. [break][break]

Nate had realized during the moving process that the box was gone, but he wouldn’t have held it against Luck if he’d simply kept it. He never even planned to bring it up. The squirreling away of tickets and pictures and mementos had been so important to Luck over the years, and the box had really been a product of Luck’s labor. It wouldn’t have been right to keep it from him, to ask for it when he knew it belonged with Luck. [break][break]

With a heavy sigh, Nate moved into the bathroom to begin getting ready for work. All the while, he couldn’t stop thinking about the box. It had been almost a week since he came home to it on his doorstep. He hadn't reached out, hadn't acknowledged that he’d received it in any way. What the fuck is wrong with you? He thought, rubbing his face and staring at his reflection in the mirror. [break][break]

By the time he was ready for work, he still had some time before he needed to leave, so Nate sat at his table and picked up the note that had been left atop the box, reading it again. He’d already read it several times. Luck had made duplicates, it said of what he could, but Nate was pretty sure that would mean pretty much everything. [break][break]

Knowing this probably wasn’t the right time, Nate finally cracked the box open. He pulled out a couple of the oldest pictures. They looked like babies, and it felt like they’d been taken in another lifetime. One of the pictures was when he first moved to Los Eurosia, unpacking his clothes in the bedroom of their first apartment together. He had the biggest grin on his face, and he could remember laughing at Luck for snapping the picture, thinking it was a silly moment to capture. He’d never been happier to be wrong. [break][break]

The next picture was the two of them with Nadia back at Harmony. They’d made the drive back, unwilling to listen to her protests that it was too far of a trip just for her birthday, and they’d spent a weekend back home. A breath hitched in Nate’s throat, and he could tell his emotions were about to get the better of him. So he put the pictures back, careful to place them exactly where they belonged. Luck had a system, and everything in the box had its proper place. [break][break]

He was feeling incomplete this morning. He should be trying to sneak out of the room quietly to go and make breakfast in bed for the birthday boy. Or hiding balloons in the shower. Or planning a surprise party with their friends that never really managed to actually be a surprise. He'd always been too excited (and worried that he was doing too much), and he'd spill the secret early. [break][break]

Not waking up next to him, not even seeing him on his birthday, it felt just as wrong as Thanksgiving had felt. Just as wrong as New Year's Eve had been. It brought Nate back to the same funk he'd been during those first couple months, the feeling he thought he'd worked through and gotten past. [break][break]

Nate picked up his phone. He realized he still hadn't changed the PIN, but certainly wasn’t going to be doing that today. Without overthinking it any further, Nate unlocked his phone and texted Luck. [break][break]

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